The Coach's Daughter
by Rai Mik
Summary: A young girl starts at Nankatsu school, befriends the Nankatsu FC soccer team, and becomes especially close to some of its members.
1. Chapter 1 - A New Start

Note: I'm new to this fanfiction thing. I like a lot of the Captain Tsubasa characters, and thought I'd try my hand at a story that offers some more character development. This is turning out to be a bigger endeavor than I had anticipated though. I haven't written the whole thing yet... Not sure where it will end.

Your comments would be a great help to me. I'd love to know if there's an audience out there. So if you like it, please tell your friends about it. If you'd like this story to progress, please, please tell me, so I can keep writing... Writing is a fun process in itself, but I'm not sure how long I can keep it up, if I'm just writing this for myself...

Captain Tsubasa and its characters belong to Yōichi Takahashi.

*** Chapter 1 - A New Start ***

Today will be my first day at a new school. Just one more "new" thing in a string of "new" things, starting with a new town, and a new house.

What hasn't changed is life with my mother. In my mind, she and I make up our little family.

My father? My father is a soccer coach. I love soccer. As a toddler, I used to love running on the field with him. He taught me to play early. He used to tell me I was a quick learner, and that I had a lot of talent. But that was a long time ago. Since then, I've played in soccer teams throughout elementary school, but my father hasn't been to many of my games.

No, being a soccer coach is not a problem. It's the fact that he's never home, and when he is, he's too busy to bother with the lives of his wife and only daughter. He's a highly acclaimed soccer instructor, one of a handful of people the country is relying on to bring Japanese soccer to an all new level. A group of former national team players, including my father, a respected goal-keeper in his day, are dedicated to this "mission." Because of this, he travels extensively around the country, and increasingly, even internationally. The little time he spends at home, he uses to train his select group of students – all chosen for their potential to further Japanese football on the international level.

You would think that after introducing me to the game of soccer, that he would be the one to train me. Sadly, that's not the case, unless you attribute part of my dedication to soccer to the fact that I naively thought that maybe, just maybe, if I played well-enough, he'd spend more time at home, with me and my mother. But I know better now. The fact is, men's soccer has the potential for glory. Women's soccer is an amateur sport, with much less attention. Where would the fame be in glorifying women's soccer? Maybe that's what he thinks. I don't really know. I'm not sure I care.

So he's never around. A few weeks ago, he decided to move us here, to Nankatsu, despite it being in the middle of my school year. I couldn't believe that he didn't even let me finish my final year at my previous school. Moving here means that he is closer to some of his "prodigy" students, like that hot-shot goal-keeper, Genzo Waka-something. I hear he's from a rich family that pays a lot to have their prized son trained privately by my father. Perhaps I should be thanking them for this nice new home on this nice little street...

It's a warm day in September. The first day of school for me...the start of second term for everyone else at this school. I don't want to get there when everyone else is waiting for the bell so that they can all gawk at the "new girl," so I've left the house early. The streets are still empty. Occasionally, I hear the sound of cooking or talking coming from the houses I pass – an old woman making breakfast, a mother pleading with her kids to hurry up and get dressed, a man sweeping his front porch.

Nankatsu Elementary school is a ten minute walk from my house. After passing the rows of well-kept houses with their little gardens, soaring trees, or, well-pruned bushes, I come up to a soccer field first, and cross it to get to the school building. There are more school grounds on the other side of the building, but I'm not in the mood for exploring right now. I look at the stately building that will now be my school. At the moment, the grounds are quiet, but I'm sure that will change shortly. I try the front door, and find that it has already been unlocked. It would save me the awkwardness of getting lost amidst the commotion of hundreds of students entering the building, if I could just find my way to class now. I look at my schedule. My homeroom is room 125. I walk down the main hallway, peering down the secondary halls, passing offices and trophy cases. I reach room 125. The door is open. I turn on the lights and look around. Where should I sit? Everyone else has been here for first term. I wonder if they expect to keep their seats? I look inside some of the desks. They are all empty. Good, that probably means that they'll start a new seating arrangement. I choose a desk by the window, close to the front, but not right at the front of the classroom.

Outside the window, I can see more students arriving. Many are talking, laughing, no doubt catching up with friends after their short break. What would I be doing, if I weren't here at Nankatsu now? Probably hanging out with my teammates from soccer, catching up, just like everyone else outside this window. I looked back at the empty room. It's so quiet and peaceful. The calm before the storm.

The school bell has rung, and students begin filing into the school. Before long, I hear a stream of footsteps in the hall.

"Hi, I'm Sanae, are you new here?" asks a girl with shoulder-length hair.

"I'm Rai, I just moved here," I replied, returning her kindness with a smile.

"This is Manabu." she continued, as she pointed to a short boy with large glasses, who gave me a nod and a smile. "You'll get to know everyone and everything here soon enough. Don't worry," she assured me.

Instead of sitting next to me though, she sat a few desks over, as if she already had a pre-assigned seat. I wondered whose seat I was in.

As more students shuffled in, the desks around me began to fill. Some students smiled as they passed, others stared. A few sleeply looking people went by without even noticing me. A few other students introduced themselves. By the time the bell rang, I had met various people, and their names were beginning to swim in my head: Kazue, Misaki, Sachi, Tsubasa, Ishizake, Namika...


	2. Chapter 2 - Nankatsu FC

*** Chapter 2 - Nankatsu FC ***

The lunch bell rang, and Sanae came over again.

"How was the morning? Math was completely boring, as usual. The teacher for Science is new, but he looks nice enough. I hope he goes easy on the homework," she bantered.

I nodded amicably. She continued, "As I said, you'll get used to things around here in no time. Hey, do you like soccer?"

"Yes. I...I used to play a bit." I stammered. I didn't know why I had such a hard time saying it.

"Great. My friends and I are big supporters of the new Nankatsu FC soccer team. If you want something to do after school, we're always in need of help. Misaki-kun and Ishizake are part of the soccer team. Of course, the star of the team is Tsubasa-kun," she blushed as she said this.

"Ignore her. The only one she ever notices is Tsubasa. You'd think he's the only one on the team." cried Ishizake from the back of the room.

Sanae reached for one of her notebooks and threw it across the room, narrowly hitting the boy on the forehead, and successfully extracting yelps of surprise from the small group of students in the back.

"Rai-chan, of all the things you need to get used to, Sanae-chan and the boys is certainly one of them," smiled a boy named Misaki, who had taken the desk next to me earlier that morning.

During lunch, I watched my fellow classmates chat. As expected, everyone had their own friends and were absorbed in their own little worlds, oblivious to everything else, as they caught up with the friends they hadn't seen during summer vacation. I tried to focus on the group that I sat in, or rather, next to, for everyone on my right had now huddled around Tsubasa, so that I, being the unknown new girl, sat on the edge of the group. Now and then, various team members looked my way, and upon seeing me look back at them, quickly dropped their eyes and turned back to Tsubasa. Misaki, probably pitying me sitting there practically alone, turned to me and said, "We're discussing this afternoon's team practice. Nankatsu FC is a newly formed team, made up of players selected from the surrounding local schools. We're going to fight to win the Nationals next summer."

Tsubasa, who sat a few desks over, next to Sanae, looked over too, and added "You said you liked soccer, right? Come out and support us at our practice."

I smiled and nodded back, more out of politeness, than with actual intent to go. With that, lunch ended.

The afternoon was uneventful. I was relieved to find that the curriculum continued where I had left off in the first term at my old school. Before long, the school day was over. Everyone clamored out the door when the bell rang, eager to enjoy the last remaining warm September days, before the weather started to cool.

"Rai, don't forget, if you want something to do, come and hang out at the soccer field." Sanae reminded me.

I smiled politely, and continued to pack my bag, a little slower now, knowing that she was in a rush to leave and would soon go out the door, allowing me to be alone again.

When the big rush of students had left the school, I walked out. I was, in fact, very curious about the soccer team. I wasn't keen on volunteering to be part of their fan club though. Nor was I sure how I would feel, watching them and not playing myself. At my previous school, I would have been the one rushing out of school to reach the soccer field. I would have been the one to talk incessantly about my soccer team and my lofty plans to help my team win tournaments. I guess I have to at least see how good they are, I convinced myself.

As I walk toward the field, I can see the soccer team performing drills. Wow, number 10 has an amazing dribble. Is that...Is that Tsubasa? In the distance, I can see Misaki playing too. He's not bad himself. So, is Tsubasa the captain? No. The goal keeper, a very tall, well-built boy is commanding some of the players to speed up. Certainly, he's the captain. He's got that authoritative voice that only captain's have. I know it. I used to be one. But now that I've decided that nothing I do in soccer will change anything at home, I don't see the point of playing. Or rather, I'm just hoping that rejecting something that I clearly have a talent for will cause some sort of reaction from my father. Immature? Probably. Desperate? Definitely. So far, it's clearly hurting me...and as for him.. I'm not even sure he's noticed I've stopped playing.

I'm afraid to go up to the field directly, but I can't help myself from watching from a distance. Habit, I guess. I still love the game. So, from afar, I watch as the players move on from drills to a practice game of 5 vs 4, clearly designed to strengthen defense. The goal keeper is no slouch though. No one on the team has come up with a successful shoot into the net so far. He's fast. All good goal keepers know the telling signs of where the ball will be aimed. They watch the players, observe their stances, the angle of the foot as it touches the ball, or where their eyes are focused. But he's got something more. A sixth sense for where the ball will go, and as if that wasn't enough, he's fast enough to handle the cases where the ball does the unpredictable.

Watching them really makes me miss playing. I can't help but critique their passes and shots. I see where they need some improvement, and it takes a lot to keep myself from yelling out instructions to the players, as I had done previously, when I was still part of a team. I can practically see myself playing.

The team, in general, is pretty good. Tsubasa is truly exceptional, and combined with Misaki, the team is very strong offensively. Their goal-keeper Captain is stellar in the net, and probably more than makes up for the team's weaker defense players. Yes, those defense players, which I can see that my classmate, Ishizake, is part of, do need a bit of work.

I was so absorbed watching the team practice, I didn't notice the time that had passed. The team finished practice, and I walked around the field, hoping to reach the road before the players had finished packing. I reached the road and walked towards home, when I heard a voice calling behind me.

"Rai-chan! Wait!" I turned to find Tsubasa running up to me. "Looks like we're going the same way," he said.

I let him catch up to me and we walked together. He was friendly, and asked if I needed any help at school. He seemed to be a genuinely nice guy. He had a boyish, sincere laugh that made me, and I'm sure most people, feel comfortable. I can see why he had a crowd around him at lunch. The conversation inevitably turned to soccer.

"I just finished soccer practice. Hey, do you play soccer?" he asked. I thought about this a bit, wondering how to answer him. In the past, I'd have given anything to be able to befriend a player of his caliber. We would surely have a lot in common, and his views on soccer would be something I'd love to talk about. But with my decision to stop playing, his simple question became something much more complicated. I decided to take things cautiously.

"Yes, but I don't think I'll have the time to play anymore. Some things have changed now that I've moved here. But I still enjoy watching the game," I offered. Then, to divert the conversation back to him, I said, "I think I saw you and your team practicing as I passed the field. You're a strong player. I'll bet you have a lot of influence in getting everyone ready for the Nationals."

He shrugged modestly and said, "Everyone is doing their best. The Captain is a great player himself, and really inspires us to work hard."

"Captain?" I asked.

"Yeah. Genzo Wakabayashi. He's a super goal keeper. He's going to be a professional soccer player someday," he answered. "Oh, I have to turn off here. My house is just down the street. You're welcome to come by anytime. I gotta run. My Mom wanted me to come home early today, so I'm late already."

He ran off without looking at me again. Which was just as well, because my jaw had dropped to the floor. Genzo Wakabayashi. Why didn't I think about that possibility when I saw him playing? His goal-keeping skills had to be trained by a professional.

Of course. My father's prodigy.


	3. Chapter 3 - The Soccer Captain

*** Chapter 3 - The Soccer Captain ***

I spent the rest of the week getting my bearings around my new neighborhood, and my new school. On some afternoons, I watched the soccer team practice. I always watched from afar.

Why not go right up there? I asked myself. I've been invited by Tsubasa and Sanae already. What keeps me from just walking up to them? I found myself watching the goalkeeper. Looking for signs...signs of my father. His stance? His hands? The quickness in his movements? I searched. The more I watched Genzo Wakabayashi's strength and agility at the net, the more I hated him. I started looking for weaknesses. He might have the attention of my father, but he can't be perfect. There must be something wrong with him. He's so intent on defending that net, catching every ball. There must be a way to get a ball in. But how?

It was now Friday afternoon, and Tsubasa, once again, walked a bit of the way home with me. "Rai-chan, tomorrow's Saturday. We have a longer practice session in the afternoon. If you have nothing else to do, why not come join us? We practice for 2 hours, but spend most of the afternoon there. We talk, play, just hang out together. Sanae and some of the girls hang out there too. It'll help you get to know the others." he encouraged.

Tsubasa is sweet. I might have gone the first time he asked this week, but the thought of meeting Genzo Wakabayashi weighed heavily on my mind, and I just wasn't ready. Or, maybe, I was just not willing.

I lay in bed that night debating with myself. Do I go and just face my fears? Why am so I scared anyway? Why should I have to hide? I'm not the one that ignores – no, abandons – his family to pursue … what? "A higher level of Japanese soccer" What is that anyways? If he wants to train other kids and not his own daughter, why should I feel like I'm inferior? I'm the one that's gotten this far without him. Maybe I'm the prodigy. What's so good about Genzo Wakabayashi? I'll bet I can find a way to get a ball in his net. Yes. That's just what I should do.

The next morning, after finishing my homework and chores, I packed myself a lunch, and at noon, walked to the soccer field. As I walked up to the bleachers on one side of the field, I could hear Sanae's voice. She was scolding her friends, or fellow "supporters" of the team, including poor Manabu, for being late. When she saw me, her whole expression changed. She smiled and said "Oh, Rai. We're so happy you could join us! We need more supporters for the team." I smiled back and nodded to greet the group that stood around her, who were more than happy to see me arrive, as it offered temporary relief from Sanae. On the field, I could see Tsubasa and Misaki warming up. I saw their captain jogging around the opposite end of the field. The rest of the team were in various stages of arrival and preparations.

I took a seat on one of the front bleachers facing the middle of the field. After a few minutes, from behind me, I heard Sanae announce, "Captain, we have a new classmate. She's decided to join us this afternoon. Say hello to Rai."

I froze for a moment, as I felt them come up behind me. I had no choice.

"Rai?" asked Sanae.

I stood up and turned towards them. As I did, I took a deep breath and looked him directly in the eyes. A look of surprise flashed across his eyes momentarily, but disappeared and was replaced with a look of uncertainty. He then quickly replaced the latter with a confident smile, one which I suspect he used often as part of his role as Captain.

He nodded, "Hi Rai. I'm Genzo. Genzo Wakabayashi."

My eyes faltered under his gaze, afraid that he would see what I was thinking, and then I too, hid under my smile, "Nice to meet you. I'm told you're a super goalkeeper."

I could feel his eyes on me for an awkward moment, and then he said, "Well, you can judge for yourself. Thanks for coming out."

He strode confidently into the field and signaled the team to him.

Arrogance. That's what I see in him.


	4. Chapter 4 - The First Attempt

*** Chapter 4 - The First Attempt ***

As practice was longer on Saturdays, more time was spent on game situations. This gave me a chance to see the players in action. Tsubasa and Misaki were truly a wonderful combination. They created the plays that brought opportunities to shoot on goal. However, despite the weaker defense players, neither Tsubasa nor Misaski could reliably convert opportunities into actual goals. And no one else on the team posed a challenge to the goal-keeper. The fact was, Wakabayashi was that good. No one ever got a goal shooting from outside the penalty area.

I started to think of plays that would get the ball closer to the net. What if Misaki could penetrate deeper? What if Tsubasa could try from more extreme angles? What if they could block the view of the ball before it was shot in front of the net? Could Wakabayashi react quickly enough?

During a break, Misaki came up to greet me, "Hi Rai-chan. It's nice of you to come down and join us."

"It's a nice day, and this seemed like a nice way to spend the afternoon. You guys are a good team. I can see why you have a chance at the Nationals," I complimented.

A thought came into my mind. "Your Captain is a great goal-keeper. He seems to predict where the ball is going to go. He knows what you're aiming for. I wonder if he could react quickly enough if you blocked his view of the ball as it goes up toward the net?" I asked.

" You mean, set up a play so that we shoot from somewhere he can't see?" asked Misaki, not missing a beat.

I shrugged, "Just wondering."

At the next opportunity, I saw Misaki huddle with Tsubasa. In the next few plays, they tried to shoot around defense players, using them to block Wakabayashi's view of the ball. However, the timing was always off, owing to the defense player moving at the last moment, or some other situation outside of the duo's control. Finally, Misaki tried running in front of Tsubasa, who had the ball, and at the last moment, closer to the net, moved out of the way to let Tsubasa shoot. With the reduced time to react, Wakabayashi couldn't catch the ball, but just barely deflected it to one side. It wasn't even a good deflection, as the ball landed back in the field. The situation was resolved when one of the defense players finally kicked it out of play, past the sideline. Wakabayashi was left laying on the grass in front of his net, clearly still going over what had just happened in his mind. Finally, he got up, adjusted his cap, and said, "That was really close you guys. It was hard to defend. You almost got me. Good play."

At the end of practice, the players broke off into groups of 3 or 4 and chatted and laughed. Training now over, they were friends once again. Their transformation made me smile to myself, as I remembered how comfortable I had felt with my own team, in what now seemed like ages ago.

"I'm told that you almost cost me a goal," a voice behind me said.

I was stunned by the suddenness of the voice, and I froze momentarily again. He's really direct, isn't he? He hopped over the bleacher to face me. I took another breath and looked up. This time, his eyes challenged me. Fair enough, I guess I just invited a battle.

I smiled innocently and said, "Don't mind me. I like to watch soccer. Maybe I've been watching too much. Dreaming up plays and all. I'm sure they're unrealistic and overly dramatic."

He didn't look convinced. "Their play would have worked. A little closer, and there would be no way for me to defend Tsubasa's ball."

I didn't look at him this time, but I could feel his eyes looking at me, questioning my motives.

"Well, Tsubasa's a gifted player. I'm sure he can get a ball or two past you without it meaning that you're any less of a goal-keeper," I responded flatly.

I started to pack my things. I didn't know what to do if he kept pursuing the subject. He reached out and held my arm gently, stopping me from walking away. I turned to face him, expecting some sort of threat, but his face had changed. The look of uncertainty I saw earlier that afternoon had returned. This time, he held my gaze, and said, "You know, it's good to be challenged. It helps one to improve, and I'm not one to shrink from it. Instead, I want to be able to embrace it. Come out to more of our practices, will you?"

We stared at each other for an instant, and he let go of my arm. I didn't know what to say.

"Wakabayashi-kun!" came a voice from across the field.

It was Tsubasa looking for his captain. I took the opportunity to walk away.

***Author's Note: (2016-03-30) I'm still working on upcoming chapters. I should be able to upload the next couple over the next few days. I'd love to hear from you to find out if anyone is willing to read on...


	5. Chapter 5 - Rising Anger

**Author's Note:** This story is not done yet, but I'm posting a few more chapters for you. I can see increasing views on these pages, but I can't tell if anyone is actually enjoying the story. For all I know, all the hits are from people glancing at it and moving on... I'd love to know if you're actually reading this. So feel free to leave me feedback!

To those that have been reading so far, enjoy!

 ***** Chapter 5 - Rising Anger *****

I don't know how to feel. I had gone to the practice with some unrealistic dream to get a ball into Wakabayashi's net. Oddly enough, I got the opportunity to try. But I had failed. I clearly had not thought of what would happen...whether the ball went in or not. I certainly didn't expect him to realize I had challenged him, much less react to my challenge. In hindsight, I had been head strong and impulsive. I definitely didn't expect him to "embrace" my challenge. Now what? I just got myself invited to keep trying to break his defense. It's one thing to sneak up on someone with the element of surprise on your side. It's another to do open battle. Do I accept?

I found myself thinking about the team more and more. Their plays, the individual players, and their strengths and weaknesses as a team. Over the next couple of weeks, I continued watching them in the afternoons, from afar. I watched Wakabayashi especially carefully. Learning his movements, watching for tendencies that maybe he didn't even know he had. Something, anything, that would help me break through his net.

At school, I attended classes with Tsubasa and his friends, and gradually fell into the rhythm of the school. I have always done well in school, and Nankatsu didn't present any difficulties for me. With time, I got to know all the soccer team members that attended Nankatsu, especially Tsubasa and Misaki. I even learned to chuckle at the antics of Ishizake and his merry band of friends. Sanae and her girl friends were always nice to me, often inviting me to hang out with them. I was careful to accept some of them, so as not to make her feel rejected, but I much preferred the company of Tsubasa or Misaki. The fact was, I had little in common with the girls. I've spent most of my time in the past with my soccer team, so that's what I was used to. The fact that this was a boys soccer team, didn't make too much difference. When I wasn't around the team, I was studying. I'm thinking of being a doctor, and my grades need to be good enough to get me there.

This afternoon, I went home, sat in the kitchen, and started on my homework early. I had a lot to do. I heard my Mom's car come up the driveway. When she entered the kitchen, I could tell already that she was tired. She was later than usual. Sometimes, I know she's frustrated with things at work, but never lets on when she sees me. She always smiles and asks me how my day was.

Now, she's worried that with a new school, a new place, and all, that I'll have a hard time making adjustments. She needn't worry. I tell her I'm doing fine. I'm making new friends, and school work isn't posing any problems for me. She looks relieved, and goes to prepare dinner. As she cooks, I can see that she's thinking about something again. Her eyebrows are furrowed and her actions are robotic. She obviously isn't really concentrating on the task at hand.

"Do you really have to work that hard, Mom? Your job takes so much out of you." I asked. "Dad makes enough for us to live comfortably, doesn't he?"

"Rai, you should have your own goals. Your own aspirations. If that's staying at home raising a family, that's absolutely fine, and you should pursue it. But that's just not what I prefer. I get a lot of satisfaction from my career. I know it's hard on you, with both me and your Dad working..." she started.

"...I know you love your career, but I know you love me too. And I know how hard it is for you to keep up with both. It just ... It just bothers me so much that Dad pursues his career with complete dedication. So much so that he can ignore his family. It's not fair to you...or me. It's not right. He's left us on our own. So that he can do what? Glorify Japanese soccer?" I blurted.

"Rai, we've been through this..." she looked even more tired now.

"Yeah. Ok. Nevermind." I retorted, and went back to me studying.

Later, when I'm in my bedroom, I start to think about all the things my father has missed in my life over the past few years, and his total disregard for his family. I could feel my frustration building again. Tomorrow will be the third Saturday since I first met Wakabayashi, well, formally, anyways. Maybe it's time to continue the challenge I started.

I'll show him that he's not impenetrable. He might have my father's help, but that won't prevent him from being beaten. It's a net. A silly little net. And I'm going to show that however hard he works at it, however much my father trains him, he's still going to lose to me.


	6. Chapter 6 - The Second Attempt

***** Chapter 6 - The Second Attempt *****

It's Saturday. I went down to the soccer field again. This time, I went slightly later, hoping that I could slip in while practice had started so that I wouldn't have to talk to him. I sat on one of the bleachers farthest from the field, but this time, on the side closest to the net he was guarding.

The team seemed a bit stronger, with their couple weeks of practice. During break, Misaki noticed me, and trotted up the bleachers and sat next to me.

"Rai-chan," he grinned, "give me another idea."

I smiled back at him. "Oh. Ok. I was thinking, most of you shoot on the bottom left or right of the net. It's true that there's the best chance of getting it in, if you think about the space that gives you. But Wakabayashi is clearly expecting it. Even if you shoot mid left or right, he can reach it. You and Tsubasa are accurate enough to aim for the top...not top left or right, but top centre," I offered.

"That's just above him. He's tall, and his reach is good. I can try, but the space is small. It's risky." he said, after thinking about it.

"I know. That's why he won't expect it. Of course, it means you guys have to be accurate enough to see the space, and fast enough too. Can you practice to improve your aim?" I asked.

Misaki pondered for a moment. "I guess I could try." he answered.

As Misaki walked back down to the field, I noticed Wakabayashi's head turned toward me. I couldn't read the expression on his face. At any rate, he looked away, as he called the team back.

As Misaki waited on the sidelines for his turn to play in the practice game, he went over his shot. I could see him looking for things around him to aim at. It didn't take him long to build up his confidence, afterall, he was already really good. His passes were the most accurate of them all, even Tsubasa, but he lacked a bit of power. Would he kick it hard enough to get by Wakabayashi? It's hard to say. In a game situation, you'd have to remain pretty calm...

Misaki went on the field. As usual, he and Tsubasa dominated, and in no time, he had an opportunity to shoot. They had forced Wakabayashi back into the net, and now, he aimed the ball above Wakabayashi's head. Unfortunately, the ball wasn't fast enough, and Wakabayashi extended his arms in time to tip it above the net. Harder. I said to myself. It needs to be kicked harder. I got up and walked down to the front bleacher. I caught Misaki's eye, and I motioned for him to kick harder. He nodded.

Practice was almost done without the opportunity to try my idea presenting itself again. However, just before the end, Wakabayashi yelled out, "Ok. Guys. Last thing. I want you to try to shoot in the goal. Defense, you're up again. Misaki, Tsubasa, try."

Misaki and Tsubasa exchanged a few words, and the two tried again. Wakabayashi stepped back closer to the net than usual, and this time, Tsubasa shot, aiming for the top middle of the net. Wakabayashi's hat was tipped off by the upward whizzing ball, and maybe that was enough to slow it down just a bit so that he could lay a finger on it and pushed it up. This time, the ball didn't go over the net, it just went straight up in front of it. I held my breath as I wondered where it would fall. Misaki wasted no time and jumped toward the rebounding ball. As did Wakabayashi. In the end, Wakabayashi's incredible reach grabbed the ball before Misaki could header it in net.

Practice over. Back to the drawing board for me.

As the boys relaxed, talking, joking, and snacking, Wakabayashi walked up to me again. This time, he sat down.

"That was close. I wasn't sure if I could reach it," he said, as he looked at his team of players scattered around the field.

"Your reach is amazing. You must train yourself hard to be able to move like that," I commented.

"I do train hard. This is part of the road I want to take. I'll be a professional soccer player. Not just that, I'll be the best goalkeeper in the world. I know that doesn't come easily, but I'm willing to try," he explained.

I'm not really sure why he said that to me. Why would I care what he wants to achieve?

"So, what do you think of the defense players?" he asked.

We spent the next half hour talking about the players, their strengths and weaknesses, and how they could improve by working together. Talking soccer with an outstanding player like Wakabayashi, captain of the team, should have been exhilarating, but Wakabayashi is the enemy...isn't he?

"We practice in the afternoons after school most days of the week. Come out sometimes, will you? I could use your eye and good judgment - someone that's outside of the field, looking at the bigger picture," invited Wakabayashi.

I was uncertain. I thought I was challenging him at goal, but now he's asking me to be his...advisor?

He read my eyes, and said, "I know you're talented. You must know how to play, and play very well at that. Although I'd love for you to practice with us, I won't force you to play, but at the very least, help us get ready for the Nationals."

He flashed a charming, boyish smile at me. "See you soon," he said cheerily, as he left.

That was pure arrogance again. Give me a big smile and assume I'll be there?

Well, maybe I will.


	7. Chapter 7 - The Tutor

***** Chapter 7 - The Tutor *****

As the weeks went on, the members of the Nankatsu FC soccer team, and their fan club, gradually accepted me as one of their own, and in turn, I became very comfortable with all of them. Even the team members that didn't attend Nankatsu Elementary, like Kisugi and Taki, were used to me hanging around.

When my Nankatsu classmates discovered that I topped all my classes, they started using me as their reference for all things related to school work. Since the soccer team members needed to maintain at a minimum grade in order to stay within the team, I fell into the role of emergency "tutor," when the less academically capable team members were in danger of falling below the grade. Essentially, this meant Ishizake and Iwami. The rest of the members held their own, and only occasionally asked for advice or assistance.

Misaki, an intelligent and diligent student, always did well. I figured if he didn't play so much soccer, he probably could have rivaled me in school. Tsubasa stayed above the minimum grade, but his genius was clearly on the field. He spent so much time on the field, that for his weakest subjects, I gave him copies of my own notes, so that he could maintain his marks while spending less time studying. Sanae was a lost cause. If she spent half the time on studying as she did dreaming of Tsubasa, she'd probably have done quite well in school.

So, I was a familiar sight at soccer practices. I took to going through homework and studying on the bleachers, with the ongoing soccer practice as my backdrop. This enabled me to stay long enough to help some of the boys with their homework and studying after their practice. In a way, I was happy to find my own way to contribute to the well-being of the team, without having to make huge flags, or devise team cheers, the way Sanae spent much of her time.

One Saturday, before a particularly dreaded math test, I was helping Ishizake with a few of the problems I thought might be included in the upcoming test. It took a little while to get the concepts through his thick head, but things finally sank in. However, he was followed by Iwami. As I started to look over his question, Wakabayashi came over to the group of us huddled around our books.

"Really guys, don't the teachers at Nankatsu do anything? Or are you just as clueless in school as you are on the field?" he said jovially, poking fun at the boys.

Ishizake looked up, "Come on Captain, just because you're smart and can handle school and soccer well doesn't mean the rest of us can. Sometimes we just need a bit of help. Rai-chan has got plenty of brain cells to spare. If she gave us even a few of her marks, she'd still be at the top of every class, and at least we'd be able to make minimum grade. That's all we want. We aren't asking for much," Ishizake reasoned.

"Rai is intelligent all right, but more importantly she studies hard and I'll bet she listens in class. If you guys did that, you wouldn't be in such a state of panic over one little test," retorted Wakabayashi.

Finally, all questions were asked and answered, and everyone started to go home. As I started to pack my bag, Wakabayashi came over.

"Looks like you have a chance to breathe again. Are you going to become a teacher? It appears you are very good at it. I, for one, would never have the patience with those knuckle heads," he smiled.

I knew he was fond of the team, and took to calling them names just to joke with them. I returned his smile. "No. Maybe a doctor..." I started.

He raised his eyebrows. "Doctor! Yes, I can see you as a doctor. You've got that calm, reassuring personality that makes people trust and believe in you. You'd make a good doctor," he agreed.

"Thanks for the vote of confidence. But I know that it will be just as long a road as the one you're taking for soccer," I pointed out.

"I believe you can be a doctor, just as I believe that I can become a professional soccer player. People like you and I aren't afraid of hard work and sacrifice. We know what dedication is, and we get things done. I can see that in you," he said, as he looked at me approvingly.

Do you really think you know me that well, Wakabayashi? Can you see through me? Your eyes look like you can, and it scares the hell out of me. However, I'm not sure you'd like what you find if you could really see what's inside of me.


	8. Chapter 8 - Another Letdown

***** Chapter 8 - Another Letdown *****

"Didn't you say that we were going to visit Grandma this weekend?" I asked Mom.

"Well, it turns out your Dad needs to be away for a couple more days, then he'll be back. So we will go next weekend," she answered.

I shrugged and went out into the garden. I watered our little plot of flowers. My mom and I usually plant a small plot of vegetables, but since we moved in a only a few months ago, we decided to wait until the coming spring. So, a few flowers is all we have for now.

We visit Grandma, my Father's mother, every year at this time. Wow. He can't even make time for his own mother. I wonder if she gets angry when he breaks his promises. But then, she's probably heard the excuses so many times, she's numb to them. I know I am. Whatever. What difference does one more lie make?

I started to think of more ways to get into Wakabayashi's net. A couple European soccer games were televised on the local Japanese station, and I had watched these intently, looking for something useful. Obviously, the professional players had great moves, but I needed something that Tsubasa and Misaki could handle at their level. I replayed a few possible options in my mind. My attempts for the last few weeks had all come up short again. It seemed like the more I tried, the better he became.

He was certainly right about himself. He did embrace challenges, and he did improve with them. That's pretty amazing. How many people have that attitude? Most of us are afraid of the things that challenge us. Wait. I'm being distracted by him again.

Focus. I need a better idea for this Saturday.


	9. Chapter 9 - An Invitation

*****Chapter 9 - An Invitation *****

Saturday again. Since I'm not going to visit Grandma, I'm around this weekend. I finished my homework and studies, packed a lunch and my sketchbook, grabbed a dagashi pack of assorted candies to share, and walked to the soccer field. I was a bit early, so I sat down and chose a candy from the pack, and started to doodle in my sketchbook. I like to draw. It calms the mind. I do it when I'm tired of thinking. There, a soccer ball. It's rolling in the grass. Here's the net. Here's a soccer shoe...

"That's nice. Didn't know you could draw," said a familiar voice.

Wakabayashi sat down. He looked at the candy wrapper next to me, reached in the dagashi pack, chose the same candy, and popped it in his mouth. He looked at me and grinned.

"You're welcome," I said, shaking my head at his playfully rude behaviour.

"I'll thank you later," he grinned, as he stood up and walked into the field. I looked at him as he strode off. I wonder if he'll be so cheerful if I get the ball past him today?

Most of the team had arrived and was warming up. Misaki jogged over to me and stretched.

"Well?" he asked.

This was becoming our routine. I think about things for a week, and he'd try to execute, either on his own, or with Tsubasa's help.

"So, maybe a straight shoot in his net is difficult. Maybe we think in multiple stages. Say you don't aim for the net. Aim for the post, and use the rebound to start the kick closer to the net. The problem is that you'd have to be confident of where the rebound was going to go, so the first kick at the post will need to be controlled. Ideally, the goalkeeper is on the other end of the net, to give you a better chance of hitting the post without him catching the ball. Since he'll be moving to the ball, the second kick will inevitably have to be to the far side of the net," I proposed.

"Gee, this is getting so complicated," said Misaki. "I can try to hit the post. I'll need to be careful of the spin on the ball so that the rebound goes the right way. I'll need Tsubasa in the right place to kick it. I doubt the defenders will stand around aimlessly. There's a lot that can go wrong, Rai-chan. This is something we'll need to practice."

"I know. That's why today, you should just practice kicking the ball at the post and seeing if you can control where the rebound goes." I offered.

Misaki nodded in agreement.

During the break, Misaki started kicking the ball at a tree. Then he kicked it against the goal post a few times before the boys reconvened. At the end of practice, he came up to me, "Rai-chan, I can't control the rebound yet. I'll have to practice it over the next few days. Let's try mid-week."

I smiled and nodded. He was the ideal soldier. So eager and willing to execute.

After practice, Wakabayashi strode up next to me, as usual, and sat down. This happened often, so much, in fact, that the team had given it a name. It was the "post-practice analysis." I noticed that Wakabayashi, whether by intention or not, always came over when most of the team was on their way home. Understandably, even though we're not gossiping or speaking maliciously about anyone, it is still awkward to talk about the players while they're all standing around.

Our conversation wanders off soccer now and then, and I find myself talking to him like a familiar friend. He can be passionate about some things, like soccer, but when it comes to other things, he can be so re-assuring, calm and gentle. Other times, he is funny and playful. I've caught myself laughing...too readily.

I've also learned to read his eyes too. They tell me when he's serious, determined, playful, concerned. I've noticed that he's not one to display his emotions openly. With most people, except Tsubasa and myself, his face is serious and his voice takes on the "I'm Captain. Trust me, I know better" tone. Even though he spends so much time with the team, and even more with those that are his own schoolmates, like Kisugi and Izawa, he's always set himself apart from them. I'm not saying that he's cold or unfeeling. No, on the contrary, he clearly cares for his teammates. They know it, that's why they accept and respect him as captain. It's just that he's... guarded. Maybe that's why there's a certain understanding between us. I've been guarded with everyone here. In a way, I've always been guarded...even before I came to Nankatsu. Because of this, I can recognize and appreciate that his openness with me is not something to be taken lightly. I am at once charmed by this, and pained by it. It makes it hard for me to hate him.

"So, I assume you've been watching the televised European soccer games lately?" he asked.

I nodded.

"Tsubasa said something about wanting to see the games on something better than his little television. I was thinking of inviting him to my house to watch it on a much bigger screen. Admittedly, I've never had anyone over before, but I think Tsubasa and I would find it beneficial to get a closer look at how professional players play. For now, this is the closest thing to watching it live," he continued.

I nodded again to show I thought this was reasonable. He fell silent for a while. I looked up at him, expecting him to continue, but instead, he was looking down at me with uncertainty in his eyes again. He pushed himself to continue, "Rai, want to join us?"

I wasn't expecting that. I thought he was just telling me something he'd thought of to help another one of his players improve. He did that all the time. We both did. It was part of our "post-practice analysis." I didn't know what to say. He saw my hesitation.

"I just thought you might want to watch with us on a bigger screen...get a closer view. I mean...I'm not saying that you have a small TV at home, or anything... I...uh...er...This is why I don't invite people over..." he finally muttered under his breath.

I smiled at his sudden uneasiness. It dawned on me that one of the reasons for his guardedness was that he didn't want to stun anyone with his family's wealth, nor did he want to attract unwanted attention. It was well known that his family was well-off, and while he could be arrogant to some about his soccer ability, he never gloated about his wealth, or came across as spoiled.

"I know what you mean, Wakabayashi-kun. It's ok," I said quickly, feeling bad that he felt so uneasy over what, for friends, should have been a simple invitation.

He looked relieved, and then expectant. Now I started to feel uneasy.

I never thought about entering his house. I had envisioned my Father many times in Wakabayashi's backyard, next to a full size soccer net, or, sometimes, in a large room in the house equipped with the latest gym equipment. Thinking about that now brought the familiar feeling of me being abandoned by my own father for ... for...

"Rai? Are you ok?" Wakabayashi asked.

I snapped back to reality. How do I get out of this? No, I don't want to go to your house and be reminded of where my Father goes when he's in town... where he goes instead of his own home!

"Uhm. No. I can't. I'm busy that day. I promised my Mom I'd do something for her..." I said.

"If not this Thursday's game, then how about Saturday night? There's a game being broadcast then too," he interrupted.

I looked at him. Please. Please. Stop asking. I don't know what expression was on my face, but he looked concerned, and took a step toward me. I took a step back. A look of surprise crossed his face.

"I...I...can't. I'm...sorry." I stammered.

"What's wrong Rai? Please tell me," he pushed.

My mind was racing. Please stop it. I can't go to your house. Maybe I can forget who you are when you're here on the field, but I don't know if I can do that at your house, where there will, no doubt, be all sorts of things related to your private soccer training! I started to throw my things back into my bag.

"I...I...just can't. Please stop asking..." I pleaded. I could see he was confused at my reaction.

I grabbed my bag, turned and ran off the field and back onto the main road.

 *****Author's Note:** (2016-04-01) I'm still writing. More to come. Aiming to get the next few chapters out in under a week... Any feedback would be appreciated!


	10. Chapter 10 - The Letter

***** Chapter 10 - The Letter *****

For the next few days, I avoided practices. On separate occasions, Misaki and Tsubasa came to ask me why I wasn't there. I just smiled and said that the work load was just too heavy now for me to go out so often. It's not like I could tell them the truth. I couldn't tell them that I didn't want to face their captain.

If Wakabayashi didn't think I was nuts before, he surely must think so now. Even I had to admit that my reaction to a simple invitation to watch TV was so ridiculous that it was laughable. I shuddered, just thinking about it. How did I get to this point, anyway?

At school Thursday morning, Tsubasa came up to me between classes, when everyone was busy talking and joking on the other side of the classroom, and handed me a blank envelope. He smiled and simply said "Wakabayashi-kun." He turned and rejoined the rowdy group.

I didn't want to read it with so many people around. So I waited until that night, when I got home. I wasn't sure I wanted to read it. No, to be more accurate, I wanted more than anything to read it, but dreaded it more than anything too. My head hurt from debating with myself. I wanted to open it, so I kept telling myself I would. Yet I was afraid of it, so I kept telling myself I'd do it a little later...after dinner...then after homework...then...

In bed, under the safety of my covers, and only my bedside lamp on, I finally opened the envelope. I had never seen his writing before. It was really neat. It made me ashamed of my hurried script, which I had to tame a couple of months ago, because Tsubasa and Misaki complained that they couldn't read my notes. I started to read the short letter:

 _"Rai, I'm sorry if I said something that hurt you. I have thought about Saturday afternoon over and over again, and though I don't understand what it is that's bothering you, I know that I don't want to hurt you. Is it me? Is it my house? You seemed fine talking to me one moment, and as soon as I mentioned my house, you looked like you'd seen a ghost._

 _Whatever it is, I want you to tell me. I can fix it. But even if you don't want to tell me, please just come to practice again. I swear, I won't talk about it if you don't want to._

 _ps. I don't live in a haunted house._

 _GW_ "

I had to smile at the post-script. The note was direct and sincere. Very much the Wakabayashi I had gotten to know. I could even hear the sound of his voice in my head. Do I go back to the practices? He said he wouldn't talk about it if I didn't want to. How awkward would it be?

I spent a long time debating the issue with myself. So long, that I overslept the next morning, and was almost late for school. That morning after math class, Misaki came up and said, "so, you'll be at practice tomorrow, right? I think I can control the rebound now. You'll be there, right?"

I smiled weakly and gave a very slight nod. He seemed satisfied, and thankfully changed topics.

After lunch, Tsubasa walked to class next to me, and said, "You'll come for tomorrow's afternoon practice, right? I want to show you my new feint. I think it's really effective against defense."

Again, I smiled weakly. Letting Tsubasa think whatever he wanted about my reply. But he didn't fall for it. He narrowed his eyes at me and said, "You have to go. You've been away all week. I think...well...I think Wakabayashi-kun needs ...uh...your advice..."

I thought he might be joking about the last part, but his eyes were earnest.

"Uhm... I'll see, Tsubasa."

He kept looking at me expectantly, with his big innocent eyes.

"Uhm... Maybe." I said finally. Fortunately, the bell rang, and classes continued.

Wakabayashi, did you ask your teammates to pressure me into going? I thought to myself.


	11. Chapter 11 - A Surprise Visit

***** Chapter 11 - A Surprise Visit *****

It's Saturday. The house is quiet. As usual, my Father is not here. My Mom went out to lunch with some friends. She asked me to go with her, but I said I still had some work to do. Truth is, I don't really feel like going out. This whole week has been so draining. It feels wrong, like I'm missing something. I just want to turn back time - to before last Saturday.

It's eleven o'clock. Should I go to practice this afternoon? Do I just pretend nothing happened? Maybe I could.

Eleven-thirty... Augh! Things will be so awkward! How can I go?

Noon. The doorbell rings. Who's there?

I look through the window, to find Wakabayashi standing on my front porch. Panic. Really? He's come here to find me? Seeing the slight movement in the window, he turns his head, sees me, and waves. It's too late to hide now. I go to open the door.

"Hi Rai," he smiles.

"Wakabayashi-kun," I respond, looking at the floor. Now I've been caught.

"Come on, let's go to practice."

"...It's still early for your practice...I...haven't had lunch...I'll come lat..." I started.

"I have lunch for you," he said as he raised the bag he was carrying. "I hope you like sandwiches. That's all I can make. Come on. Get your house keys and a jacket, let's go."

He wasn't taking any chances on me running again. He stepped passed me and into the house, saw one of my jackets on a chair and took it. When I found the house keys, he pushed me out the door and closed it behind me. Halfway down the steps, he asked, "Wait, is your Mom here? Do you need to tell her you're going out? I don't want her to think I'm kidnapping you."

I shook my head.

"So, I've been thinking about the team," he started, as we walked toward the field. He just kept talking about what happened at the practices I had missed, and the ideas he had for the team. Nationals were coming up in a couple of months. The team needed to step things up. I nodded here and there, and eventually, we had a normal two-way conversation again. Secretly inside, I breathed a sigh of relief. I think he did too.

Sitting on the familiar bleacher again, with the team in full practice mode, I looked inside the lunch bag that Wakabayashi had given me. A simple ham sandwich with cheese and tomatoes, juice, and two small packages of castella. I took the sandwich out. It was very neatly put together. I don't know why it surprised me. You can tell by the way he dresses and carries himself, that he's no slob. I'm sure he can put a few slices of ham and cheese between bread without things spilling out. As I chewed, I thought about his surprise visit this morning. I didn't know he knew where I lived. Of course, he could have asked Tsubasa. He clearly didn't know whether I was alone or not, but he asked specifically about my Mom. How did he know my father wasn't there? I mean, he probably knows his coach is currently out of the country, but he doesn't know that his coach is my father, or does he? Maybe he's guessed by now. Anyway, it was thoughtful of him to think of telling my Mom that I was going out. I smiled. Yes, he can be very thoughtful. Did he really make me a lunch? How did he know I hadn't eaten yet?

If I am to be honest with myself, I have to admit that I am charmed by the lengths he took to get me out here again. I'm certain he asked Misaki and Tsubasa to talk to me, then there was his note, and leaving nothing to chance, he showed up in person at my doorstep. I looked at him on the field. I guess I've spent so much time trying to watch for his flaws, that I haven't really thought about his ... his...

"Rai-chan! I can do it now. I think I can control the rebound off both side posts." Misaki's voice hit me from the right. I dropped my eyes to the grass, blushed a bit, and hoped that he hadn't seen me staring at his Captain.

"Misaki-kun," I recovered with a smile.

"It's good you're here again. I was going to make an attempt on the net during our practice game after break. We've missed you. Some of the guys are completely lost in that last unit of math. I tried to explain it, but you know, they can be a bit dense. And, I'm not sure, but I could swear Captain's being extra hard on us this week. He's been a bit moody. You can judge for yourself today," Misaki complained, even though his smile, as always, was present.

I gave him a sympathetic look. He grinned and then ran back to get his water bottle.

When Misaki was gone, Wakabayashi casually strode up and sat next to me. Without looking at me, he asked "so, how was lunch?" I had eaten half the sandwich and drank the juice. In truth, it was pretty good.

"Well, I'd be lying if I said it wasn't good." I admitted, and then asked, "How did you know I didn't have lunch yet?"

He shrugged, then answered, "I didn't, but I also didn't want you to get out of coming by using your lunch as an excuse."

He turned to look at me. I felt caught again. My eyes fell to the grass. Silence. He didn't turn away. For someone that's always impatiently yelling at his teammates to move faster, he sure was patient when it came to just sitting there...

Suddently, I realized what he was saying...or rather...hadn't said. He didn't know that I had not eaten. This is his lunch. He's the one that hasn't eaten. Oh... He chuckled in amusement as he watched my expression change. Finally, I gave in, and said with a sigh, "You must be starving. I'm sorry I ate your lunch. There's still half a sandwich."

I offered the remains of the sandwich to him. He took it with a grin and said, "I gave it to you. So technically, it's yours. However, now that you say it, I think sharing it with you would make me even happier."

It didn't take long for him to wolf down the remaining half. I reached into the bag and handed him one of the castella cakes. He shook his head. "After practice," he said, as he walked back to the field.

What did he mean by "sharing it with you would make me even happier?" And, why am I even thinking about this?

During the second half of the practice, Misaki tried to kick the ball into the post, and though his rebound did fly toward Tsubasa, Izawa, defending, got in the way. Although Tsubasa eventually got around him, Wakabayashi had, by that time, already re-positioned himself. Misaki shook his head at his lost opportunity.

A while later, Misaki had another opportunity to shoot. This time, he aimed at the post again, and, having purposely done so, ran in the direction he knew the rebound would go. The ball did what it was supposed to, and Misaki was ready to kick it again. As intended, Wakabayashi had moved toward the post, and one end of the net was open. Misaki kicked, forcing the ball toward the open space. Wakabayashi couldn't dive to catch the ball. There was no time. But he saw the ball hover close to the ground, and slide tackled the ball, pushing it out of the net. As the ball rolled off the field, Misaki cursed himself for choosing to keep the ball so low.

It's not your fault, I said silently to Misaki. I would've done that too. Kicking it higher would've given Wakabayashi a better chance at reaching it with his hands. I'm sorry, Misaki-kun. You are doing your best. You aren't the problem. I am.

Is it really so hard? How can he be that good at defending the net? I'm not good enough. Why would I think I could be better than him? He's trained by my Father, who was a professional soccer player - a goalkeeper at that. I am being stupid and naive. I am wasting my time.

"I almost got it in," announced Misaki.

He fell on the grass in front of me. Lying there, he looked up at the sky and said thoughtfully, "I've never seen him slide tackle a ball before. That's new. I have to believe it was because he was desperate. So we must be close."

I couldn't help but smile at him. Forever the optimist. It's so easy with Misaki. He's always so cheerful and agreeable. He has no prejudices or expectations of you. He is just so accepting of everyone. We chatted for a while, while he rested. Then, after discussing a school project we were working on together, he raced home to meet his father for dinner.

As I had left the house without really intending to, I had nothing with me to pack. No one was home, so I wasn't in a rush to get back either. I looked at the two cakes left in the lunch bag. Then fell back to thinking about how futile trying to get a ball into Wakabayashi's net was. Exactly why am I doing this? So what if it goes in? It's not like it will change anything.

"I'm hungry now. Is there still something left for me?" asked Wakabayashi, as he came over with his gear. Everyone else had left the field. I handed him the lunch bag. He took out the two cakes and handed one to me.

"Don't look so sad. I almost didn't get to it. Slide tackling at the net isn't what I would usually do. But I guess Misaki's shoot was a bit too much for me," he said, as he opened the castella wrapper.

I didn't know how to respond. This was so weird. He who has always been so proud of his defending record, appeared to be consoling me, the one trying to get the ball past him. He claims that he's struggling, yet he seems so happy about it. What is wrong with this picture?

Alone with me now, Wakabayashi became more talkative. I've noticed this change in him over the past months. The time we spend together after practice has steadily grown. At first, it was because he had more to discuss with me, as my observations and predictions about the team proved true over time, and I earned more of his respect and trust. But then, he had taken to telling me about his plans for his future. I had started off resenting his big talk about becoming a professional soccer player, but quickly, I realized that as difficult as it was for a Japanese boy to become a world class soccer player, he really would. It was just a matter of time, and planning. He'd have to get abroad, maybe Europe, or South America, to do it, and that was still a missing piece of the puzzle, but he had the talent, the work ethic, and certainly, the desire. I had started to say more to him too, as I learned to trust him. I was never much of a talker, and couldn't stand the constant chatter that accompanied some of the other girls, so I always gravitated to quieter people. But with him, I didn't feel pressured to talk. My comfort with him surprised me. True, I had been working against him. I had wanted to hate him. I certainly resented him. Yet I feel so at ease with him.

As the afternoon turned into the evening, I reluctantly said, "My mom will be back soon, I should go home."

He looked around, surprised that the daylight was already dimming and nodded.

"I'll walk you back," he announced.

I opened my mouth to protest. But without waiting for me, he started off in the direction of my house. I guess, in a way, this last week has taught me something more about him: I can't stop him from doing what he wants.


	12. Chapter 12 - My Secret

***** Chapter 12 - My Secret *****

It was March now, late in the school year. Our homework and studies had gradually increased to full load, and it was starting to cripple some of the weaker students. This included the soccer team players that had always straggled. Misaki and I started pooling our efforts to make things easier for each other. After all, two heads are better than one. We'd study different subjects and whittle things down to key concepts so the other person could spend a bit less time studying that particular subject. This also meant that between the two of us, we could cover all subjects and help Tsubasa stay dedicated to soccer as much as possible.

Despite the heavy work load, I kept going to as many practices as I could. I made good use of the time by bringing my work with me. I even started jogging around the field and school either before their practice, or as they warmed up. I had always been active playing soccer, and now, even though I no longer played, I felt like I had to keep moving. When the school work load was light during the start of the year, I had jogged around the neighbourhood every day, but now, I had to be more efficient with my time.

One Saturday, I left the house early to jog around the field before the team arrived for their practice. I jogged around my own neighborhood first, then toward the field. As I came upon the field, I saw an abandoned soccer ball under the bleachers. I looked around to see if its owner might still be around. The field was empty, and quiet. The only movement was from the rustling leaves nearby. I crawled under the bleachers and pushed the ball out onto the field. I looked at it for a while. Smiling to myself, I dribbled the ball into the field. I did a few keep ups. The empty net was too tempting. I let the ball drop, and shot it in. It felt good. I ran to get the ball from the net. Maybe I could shoot a few balls before anyone came and saw me.

With each kick, my body recalled what it was like on the field so many months ago. I was surprised at how quickly I regained the feel of kicking a soccer ball. I could tell my accuracy and power had decreased, but, the joy of kicking the ball was still there.


	13. Chapter 13 - Your Secret's Out

**Author's Note:** Warning. I'm changing the story-teller. You'll easily guess who it is.

 ***** Chapter 13 - Your Secret is Out *****

As I walked through the trees that lined the far edge of the field, I saw someone kicking the ball on the field. I thought I was early today, but apparently, someone was even earlier. I saw the ball go into the net hard and fast. Maybe it's Misaki. The shoot was accurate enough, but it didn't look like one of Tsubasa's powerful shoots.

No. That's not Misaki or Kisugi either. Wait, it's not even a guy. It's... Rai? I stopped just behind one of the last trees before the clearing. She's never showed that she could play in front of any of us, not that I know of, at least. I'm sure one of the other guys would have said something, if they knew. She'll talk about soccer until the cows come home, if you let her, but she has always avoided the subject of playing it herself. But I know she plays. I see from her eyes when she talks to me about the team, or soccer strategies, or playing styles...she loves soccer. Only someone who plays could have come up with the ideas she has.

I know her refusal to play has something to do with her father. It must. I've pieced all these things together, yet it's not enough. I want to know more. More about her. There are so many things that intrigue me about her, yet she's so restrained around me. Sometimes, I'll look at her, and she's filled with sunshine and happiness, and the next moment, her eyes are clouded, like she's hiding from me. The worst is when she looks at me, and I think I see a deep seated hatred. I shuddered. I feel like she's plotting against me, but why? Why me? What have I done? I've shown her nothing but friendship...and maybe more...

"Captain! ...Hey, is that Rai?" Misaki's voice came up behind me. I turned abruptly with my finger at my lips, motioning him to keep quiet. Misaki's eyes grew wide.

"What?" he whispered as he reached me and stopped.

I didn't answer him, but turned to look at Rai, who was still kicking the ball.

"She's pretty good. Wow. I didn't know. Why didn't she tell us? Why doesn't she play with us?" he wondered.

I shrugged. Then I had an idea. "Misaki, go down and play with her. Don't ask her, just go and kick the ball to her. Whatever it is, she's obviously been purposely hiding this from us. She's always been comfortable with you. Just go up and play with her."

I sent Misaki down. I had a feeling that she wouldn't play soccer with me.

Down went Misaki. He didn't stop when he reached the field, he just dropped his bag while he ran, and then dropped his ball and dribbled it up to Rai, as he cried, "Hey Rai-chan, come on, let's go for the net!"

I smiled. Misaki was smooth. Rai jumped in surprise at Misaki's voice. She still hadn't seen me, standing at the edge of the field behind them. She was hesitant, but Misaki was like a kid running up to her with the ball, and she lifted her head and looked around him, probably to see if there was anyone else. I ducked behind the tree next to me and waited.

I didn't look out again until I heard the sound of the ball being kicked. Misaki had passed the ball to her. She dribbled it partly down the field, and passed it back to him. They kept it up for the length of the field. Then Misaki passed to her, and yelled, "Shoot, Rai-chan!" She did a strong kick and the ball went in with a swoosh. I could hear Misaki give a triumphant cry, as if it were a game and they had scored. Rai was laughing. I was almost sure her laugh was different now. It sounded so carefree, so ...happy. I tried to think of whether I had ever heard her laugh this way before.

They played for a few more minutes, and then she went up to Misaki and spoke to him for a bit, and then went back to the bleachers, leaving Misaki alone in the middle of the field. Misaki glanced over to me. He shook his head slightly, and shrugged his shoulders, as if to say, "I don't know what's going on."

I heard footsteps behind me. I dropped down to tie my shoes...not that they were untied.

"Captain!" It was Kisugi and Izawa coming to practice.

"Hi Guys." I stood up again and said, "Ok. Let's go."

We entered the field. Soon after, the rest of the team arrived and I started practice.

When practice ended, I pulled Misaki aside. I had only to look at him, and he knew what I wanted.

"Captain. She was fine playing with me, and then suddenly, she looked at her watch, and told me to swear I'd never tell anyone that she could play. One minute she was so happy and carefree, and the next, she was like concrete wall. Why is she hiding it? She's a great player. Why doesn't she play?" he reported.

I shook my head. "I guess, if she doesn't want anyone to know, then, we can't tell anyone..." I said.

Misaki walked away, shaking his head in confusion.

I looked over at Rai. She was talking to a few of the guys. It looked like they were going over an assignment. If it weren't for her, some of these guys wouldn't be able to play for the team. What is it that you're hiding? You like us enough to help us, but not enough to trust us.

You've been open with me about your observations of the team. You've been a great help to me, personally, with your views and assessments of the team's performance. Sometimes, our conversation wanders off soccer, and I still feel the same kind of ...connection. Like I'm talking to an old friend, and I don't have to say too much, because you understand exactly what I mean. Yet when your eyes cloud over, I know there's a part of you that I can't get to.

As much as I was disappointed that Rai had let Misaki in on her secret that she could play soccer, and not me, the situation did pose a new way for me to find out more about her. I hoped that perhaps she'd tell Misaki a bit more about whatever it was she was clearly hiding from me. I did not need to convince him, as he was all too willing to exchange passes and shots with someone of her caliber.

During the week, Misaki asked Rai to come out early to Saturday practice, so she could help him work on some of his shots. I found out about this, and came earlier myself and stood at the treeline again. It didn't take me long to feel completely irritated. Watching the ease in which she exchanged passes with Misaki, hearing her laugh, made me feel...left out...almost...envious. Is this jealousy? I'm being jealous?

This is going to kill me. I have to do something. I need to change this.

 **Author's Note:** Hope you're ok with the change in perspective. I thought it was time we heard from Wakabayashi himself. I'll be flipping between the two story-tellers in the upcoming chapters. I think you'll easily figure out who's talking in the first couple of sentences.

For those of you still reading - thanks! I'd love to hear your thoughts.


	14. Chapter 14 - The Argument

***** Chapter 14 - Argument *****

"Again? What's going on in Germany? I thought we were planning on going away the end of March before Rai's school starts again in April," I can hear my Mom ask.

Her voice has that edgy tone again. It did not sound good. They are in the kitchen, but I can hear them relatively clearly from my room, with my door open, especially since my mom is getting frustrated and her voice is starting to get louder. Oh no. It's going to be an argument.

My mom is really supportive of my Father...even though she's the one that gets ditched each time something "important" comes up. But when she's had enough, she can really get angry. As much as I hate my father for treating us like second class citizens, I dread the argument that is about to erupt.

Actually, I don't even know if I would call it an argument. I've seen it before: my mom tries to accomodate my father for sometime, gets fed up with her constantly delinquent husband, confronts him...and then...then what? I'm not even sure. An argument would imply two sides. In this case, there aren't. It's just my mom that gets frustrated. I don't think my dad has ever countered. I'm always amazed that my mom returns to normal after a while. But then what? That's the problem. He doesn't change anything. I could never understand why my mom puts up with it.

I sit at my desk in my room and try to concentrate on the final assignments for the year. I just need to maintain my grade, and I'll finish at the top of the class.

"...the least you could do is be here for the break..." I hear my mom's voice.

I can't hear what my father is saying, because his voice is much lower, and he never shouts. However, I can hear my mom quite clearly:

"...she stopped playing soccer..."

"...It doesn't seem temporary, as you had thought..."

"...yes, she's doing well at school..."

"...she seems to have friends..."

"...doesn't it bother you why she doesn't play though?..."

"...it's because of you. You don't see that? She wants you to pay attention..."

"...I've had years to learn about who you are... but she hasn't. What are you expecting her to feel?..."

Who does he think he is? Certainly not a husband, or a father, at any rate. I close my door. I don't want to here it anymore.


	15. Chapter 15 - Break Through

*****Chapter 15 - Break Through*****

It's end of March, the year is over, and we're on school break. My father is in Germany again. He's negotiating something there. Something big, I guess, judging by the time he's spent there this year. Not that I care. I'm alone at home. Mom's at work. I'm catching up on my reading, drawing...things that I like but can't find enough time during school to do. I even went out to the yard played around with my old soccer ball earlier this morning. But now, I'm just drawing in my sketchbook by the front window, soaking in the rays of sun.

I hear a tap on the window, which startles me. I look up, to see Wakabayashi. He points to the door. I nod and go to open it.

"Rai, come take a walk with me. I want to get out of the house," he says, when I open the door. I smile and nod.

"Wait a minute, let me get my keys," I leave him in the doorway. When I come back, he's let himself into the front sitting room, where I was sitting, and is looking through my sketchbook.

"Sure, you can look at my drawings," I say, sarcastically.

He just grins at me, closes the sketchbook carefully, and walks out the door with me.

"You draw really well. I like your drawings. You are full of surprises, Rai," he says, as we walk down the road.

Not knowing where he intended to go, I follow his lead. We walk past the neighborhood houses. There's a refreshing breeze, and most houses have their windows opened. Some have their front doors open too. I can hear kids playing, the news on the TV, music from radios, dishes clanking in kitchens, the occasional dog barking. He is oddly silent. I'm not sure what to say. It seems like he's come to find me with some purpose in mind, but I'm not sure if I'm supposed to ask him about it.

"Rai, why don't you play soccer anymore?" he asks, out of the blue.

Huh? What's he doing? He's never asked me directly before. After all this time, I thought he'd have just accepted that I don't play as a fact.

"I'm busy with other things. School. Remember? I want to be a doctor. I have to do well. You know why," I answered, uneasily.

We walked in silence for a while.

"I was hoping that we...we...know each other well enough not to lie," he said, quietly.

He was looking at the ground as he walked. I felt a pain in my heart, and immediately regreted what I had said. But I didn't know how to answer. I glanced at him again, and knew he felt hurt. Why couldn't I tell him the truth?

We wander into the soccer field. There's another abandoned ball. He walks up and kicks it. A long shot into the net. I stand to one side of the field to let him shoot. It feels weird, watching him shoot in the net that he is so determined to protect. None of the shoots are very hard. His mind is clearly not into it. He's thinking about something.

After sometime, he turns and looks at me, hesitantly at first, and then steels himself to say, "Rai, shoot on me."

I look at him wondering if I had heard right. I could tell by the look in his eyes that I had. Then I look at him like he's crazy. I shake my head in disbelief. He ignores my reaction and walks to the net.

I don't move. He throws the ball into the middle of the field, just past the penalty area, and motions for me to go there. I could feel both panic and anger starting to build inside of me.

What is he doing? He suspects...or rather, knows I've played soccer. Fine. But he's never seen me play, has he? And if I were going to kick the ball into his net myself, I wouldn't have spent all this time and effort trying to help his team get goals past him!

"I know you can play, Rai. Come on. Just shoot. Get the ball past me."

His voice is insistent now. Not taunting me, just pushing me to do it. I don't understand why. He's never challenged me directly like this. This isn't the same type of challenge that he sometimes gave to players he thought might improve his game. His eyes do not have that competitive spark that I see so often when he plays with Tsubasa and the others. He is simply urging me to shoot. Since this isn't exactly a challenge against me, I couldn't respond with anger or disdain. So instead, I backed off with,

"I'm not exactly in soccer shoes...and you're without your gloves...maybe another day, Wakabayashi-kun..."

I start to move off the field.

"No. You aren't leaving. I'm not asking you to play a game with me. And this is not soccer practice. I'm simply asking you to kick the ball. Just do it."

His voice is commanding now, and in the silence of the evening, every word seems to pound into me. He sounds so reasonable, and yet so forceful.

Sure...so I've kicked the ball a few times with Misaki in the last couple of weeks...but...I don't think I'm in any shape to get the ball past him. I look at him. He stares back, waiting. Why is he so insistent? What's he up to?

"I know you can kick it, Rai. And I know I can catch it. You know I've been trained well...by the very best. Don't you want to know if you can get it past me? Isn't that what you want? Just do it Rai. Stop torturing yourself."

Have I been that obvious? I suddenly feel so stupid. He knows who I am. He probably even knows about the tension between my father and me. And he clearly knows what I've been up to. He's just been playing along all this time. Just watching me. Now he's tired of this little game. Ok then. If he wants me to kick the ball, I'll kick the ball. I walk up to the ball and look at him. He is ready, but expressionless.

I back up a few paces, take a deep breath, run to the ball, and kick it toward the net. He catches it without moving. It was such a bad shot, I chuckle at my hopelessness.

"Come on Rai. Get serious," his voice floats from the net. The ball flies back to my feet.

Fine. I'll be serious. I back up a few paces again. This time, I run hard, and kick harder, aiming for the bottom left. The shot is fast, and accurate, but his moves are quicker and he catches the ball easily.

"Again," he says, as he throws it back to my feet.

Isn't this what I've wanted? The chance to show my father that for all the time he spends with his prodigy, the fact is, I can still win? This is the scene that has played over and over again in my dreams ever since I met Wakabayashi. So, why am I reluctant to do this?

Then it dawns on me. I am afraid. If I fail to get past Wakabayashi, would it prove once and for all that Coach Mikami, my father, was right all along to dedicate himself to Japanese Men's soccer, at the expense of his family? At the expense of me?

No. It can't be. I'm not worthless. I run at the ball with all my might, and this time, I aim for the top middle, just as I had told Misaki to do, not long ago. The shot is quick and powerful, and Wakabayashi has to move fast and really reach to get to it. His fingers manage to push back at it, but it is too fast for him to grab, so the ball rebounds back into the field. I run towards it and make a strong shot at his left side, which he had left open in his attempt to block my first shot. Now that I am closer to the net, I know that if the shot is fast enough, he'll be in trouble. His instincts tell him the same, and he lunges to his left, expecting my ball, but it's too fast for him to hold, so he punches it out of the field.

He gets up from the ground, and straightens his cap. He looks at me, this time, with the look of someone challenged. The competitive spark is in his eye again. I run to retrieve the ball myself, and once again, start in mid-field.

I must have shot 15 more times, aiming for various parts of the net. Each shot would have been a goal with any other goalkeeper, but not him. With each try, my anger increased. I didn't know whether I was angry at Wakabayashi for challenging me, or exposing me. Or whether I was angry at my father for being away all the time. Or at myself for failing to get that stupid, stupid ball into the stupid net!

Wakabayashi's cap has fallen off again during my shooting, and now lays abandoned by it's owner who is fully engrossed in protecting his net from some mad woman shooting unrelentlessly at it, each shoot harder than the last. I start to fight back tears that are starting to swell up. Augh! Why won't it go in? Am I such a complete failure?

"Stop shooting so randomly! What happened to your tactics?" calls his voice from the net.

Yes. Of course. This isn't just any goalkeeper. I can't expect to get it in with just a "good" shot. This needs to be planned. I turn my back to him and compose myself. Think. Think.

I turn back and shoot 2 direct, straight shots at his left side, knowing that he's right handed. He catches each and throws them back. I shoot the next one as far right as I can. He reaches hard for it, and tips it around the side of the net. The ball rolls to the side lines. I retrieve it, and this time, I aim as before, to his far left, but put a hard right spin on it.

The ball starts it's flight towards the left, and Wakabayashi follows suit. But the hard spin pushes the ball to the right. I had given it all my power, and it moved fast. This time, too fast for him to reach. It hits the right goal post, and as both of us hold our breath, the ball waivers, falls directly down, and stops.

I run up to the net to look at it. The ball is on the ground, right where the line for the net should be...if one had existed. I look at Wakabayashi. He is looking straight at me, and says plainly, "You've done it. It's in."

I can't tell from his face how he feels about it. He sounds like he has just read me a fact from a textbook.

"It's …..there's no line. Even if there was, this would be a ref's call," I say, weakly.

I suddenly realize how exhausted I am. I am dizzy from both the physical and emotional exertion. This last shot was heart-stopping. My sight is a bit cloudy, I'm not sure if it is the dizziness, or if... if...am I crying? I close my eyes to fight against the conflicting feelings inside of me. My knees feel weak and I feel myself sinking... I reach for goal post, hoping for support, but instead, a supportive arm wraps around me, breaking my fall.

"Are you ok, Rai?" his worried voice asks.

I can't reply, my throat is all choked up, and I sob instead.

"You did it. That was a goal," he consoles me.

I shake my head. "It's outside the net," is the only thing I can blurt out.

He gently peels my hands from my face and looks at me. "The spin you put on it was crazy. Your shot was so powerful that by the time I realized it was going the other way, it was too late. I threw everything into catching that ball, and I couldn't get to it. Rai, I really couldn't get to it. The fact that it hit the goal post was just unlucky. Or was it? Fact is, the ball's on the line, if they'd had bothered to draw one in. It must be here, somewhere...hold on. I'll find it..." he says as he looks down at the grass pretending to search for the missing line.

I give a weak smile, which seems to bring him relief. His hands, still holding mine, relax, but he doesn't let go. I look down at his hands, and see that they are all red. Now I remember. He has no gloves. I gasp as I turn his right hand over. It's very red, puffy, and tender.

He smiles and says assuringly, "I'll be fine. Nothing is broken. I'm not even bleeding."

He takes my hand back, and exclaims, "You are amazing! Why don't you play anymore? Why are you torturing yourself?"

I look at him, and shake my head.

"I...I can't do it. When I play, all it does is remind me of him. My father. And the fact that he doesn't care...about me, or my mom. He's so dedicated to soccer...yet nothing I do in soccer, or otherwise, makes any difference to him. He'll never notice," I say.

I can't control myself, and my body starts to shake again. His hands tighten around mine.

"Do you still hate me, Rai Mikami?" he asks.

The words, coming from him, shock me. Yes, I had hated him on many occasions, but I only felt that way when I watched him from afar. When I was close to him, the feeling of hate went away. I didn't know he had sensed it. If he did, he never returned the feeling, or reacted to let on that he knew. During all this time, as I tried to think of ways to help the team get past him, I had hated and resented the prodigy goalkeeper, but not the Wakabayashi-kun that had always been so friendly and gentle with me.

"How...did...you know?" I stammer.

"I recognized you the first time I saw you at practice, when Sanae introduced you. I didn't know your name, but I recognized your face. Last year, just before I first met you, Coach Mikami had accidentally dropped his wallet during one of our practices, and when I picked it up, a photo fell out. It was a picture of you and your mom. You were in a soccer jersey, with a medal. I gave it it back to Coach. He had smiled proudly as he put the photo back in his wallet. He said that his daughter was a huge soccer talent. But I could tell from his look afterwards that something wasn't right. I knew I had reminded him of something that saddened him. So I guessed he had some sort of family problem. Not surprising, I guess, as he's probably never around. Until I saw your picture, I didn't even know he had a daughter..."

He looks at me, searching my face for confirmation of his suspicions. I look away from his gaze, "that photo was from last year. My team won in a soccer tournament. He wasn't there. He was in Europe or somewhere...He's never around. He doesn't care about me or my mother. Soccer is his life. I don't want to play. I don't want to play because it justifies his dedication to a sport rather than his family..."

"...and that's why you hate me so much, because your father spends time training me," he concludes for me.

I look at his downcast face. He is genuinely hurt and sad. I am suddenly sorry. I don't hate him. I don't hate him at all.

"No. Or, I mean, yes, I hate the fact that father spends time training soccer prodigies... and I thought I hated you, before I... I…." I look at him.

His eyes are fixed on me, waiting.

Before I what? Before I learned what Wakabayashi was really like. But...do I know what he's really like? I feel like I know him well. Yet how could I? I only see him at his soccer practices, in which he's training with his team, and I sit on a bleacher. Sure, we've spoken a lot now, over the months, and we...well, I guess we have grown closer.

I decide to continue on a slightly different tangent, "I thought that if I could get a ball past you, I could prove to myself that I had value. I thought that I could prove that even though my father doesn't want to spend time at home, that I don't need him anyway. I dreamed about getting a ball past you. I've dreamed about that so many times these past months. Tonight...it seemed like I was dreaming again. But now, I am confused. I don't know what to think. My father isn't going to change, regardless of what I do..." I shake my head, as the tears roll down my face..

We sit in silence.

"I don't know if your father will change, Rai. But maybe you can. You didn't finish what you were saying before. You hated me at first, and then...what?" he asks, as he looks intently at me.

"...and then I got to know you. As much as I tried to think of you as an arrogant, spoiled, bully, you always proved yourself to be confident, intelligent, talented, hard-working. You've been...so friendly, and caring... I...think... well...I think...it's hard to hate a good friend."

There. I said it. You aren't the enemy. You're a friend. A good friend. I look up at him.

"...friend," he echoes quietly.

Although he is smiling, I can see that he doesn't seem satisfied. He continues to look at me in silence. It feels like he is searching me for something. Waiting. What is he expecting from me?

After a long time, he stands up, pulling me up with him. I hadn't realized he was still holding my hands. He sighs, defeated, and then lets go of my hands. He smiles at me, this time without the dissatisfied look, and says, "It's late. Please let me take you, my good friend, back home."


	16. Chapter 16 - Injury

***** Chapter 16 - Injury *****

The months pass quickly, and Regionals have started. This is the key to getting into the Nationals.

Nankatsu FC has been strong, but despite this, they encounter a few glitches in their teamwork during their first game. Wakabayashi and his schoolmates are the experienced members of the team, having played in the Nationals before. For some reason, Kisugi, Taki and Izawa suddenly felt the need to block out the less experienced Nankatsu players. How can they play as a team, without trust? Tsubasa finally found a way to force a goal, but the game wasn't a good one for Nankatsu FC.

Wakabayashi spoke to his schoolmates, and convinced them get the ball to Tsubasa. After that, the team played with Tsubasa as their centre, and were wildly successful. I was impressed with Tsubasa's ability to bring out the strength of his teammates, and Wakabayashi's ability to handle his team. Nankatsu FC was already known for it's top goalkeeper, and now, it was well known that their offense, with Tsubasa and Misaki, was strong. They would be a real contender for the Nationals.

But then, it happened.

It is the finals of the Regionals. Nankatsu FC vs. Shimada FC. I sit in the stands with Sanae and her band of supporters, as I have for all the other Regional games, only half-listening to their banter about the other teams, and their Nankatsu team chants.

While trying to prevent Shimada's striker from getting closer to the net, Ishizake slide tackles the player, forcing a shoot. Wakabayashi had anticipated the shoot and had already come out of the net to catch the ball mid-flight, which he does, but on the way down, he collides with Ishizake. Those few agonizing seconds pass in slow motion, it is like watching two trains about to crash. Someone is going to get hurt. I gasp, and hope that Wakabayashi will be ok. Wakabyashi lands upright, but down on one leg. As he tries to stand up, he topples back to the ground. My heart stops, while a stream of emotions hit me. He's injured. He won't be playing the rest of this game. I hope it's not too serious. This will be a big disappointment to him, not being able to play.

Medical staff carry him off the field, and he watches the rest of the game from the Nankatsu bench. I add frustration and helplessness to the emotions that I imagine he is feeling. His face is hidden by his cap most of the time, and I can't see his expression. I feel helpless, sitting in the stands.

Look up, I can't see what you're thinking. But no amount of mentally willing him to look up makes a difference.

In the end, Nankatsu FC still won. Tsubasa really stepped up and led the team on the field. Sanae was ecstatic and hugged everyone around her, no doubt imagining that they were Tsubasa. I should have been happy for the team. But the over-arching concern for their downed goalkeeper put a damper on my feelings. All I could think of was how I could help him.

After the game, and for the rest of the day, I am worried. I want to see him, but don't know how. How do I know if he's ok or not? Well, if he's injured, he won't be at practice.

The next day, my fears are confirmed, he isn't at practice. The coach announces that Wakabayashi would not be playing at all until his ankle has fully healed. He asks the team to be patient, as it is important for any player to ensure the health of their bodies first. He asks the team to really pull together to get through the Nationals. Wakabayashi's injury should be healed by then, but Nankatsu FC would need to get past the upcoming games first. Tsubasa, now captain of the team, is adamant that he and the team will get Wakabayashi there.

After practice, Tsubasa comes over to me. "Rai-chan, I promise I'll get Wakabayashi-kun to the finals. He'll be fine. Wakabayashi-kun has always been strong."

I smile at him encouragingly, "I believe in you, Tsubasa-kun. I saw you take charge at the Regional finals. You were great. I know you'll keep improving, and you'll take the team with you."

"Rai-chan, I need your help though. I know you and Wakabayashi-kun are much better at assessing the team, and coming up with strategies we can use. I've never had to deal with that. Can you help me?" asks Tsubasa.

"Of course. I want to get Wakabayashi-kun to the finals too. Whatever you need from me, Tsubasa-kun. I'll gladly help," I offer, and we go over some of the things Wakabayashi and I had discussed in preparation for games at the Nationals.

At home again, I think about Wakabayashi alone and confined to his house. If he can't play in the upcoming games at the Nationals, he must be feeling very disappointed. I can imagine how frustrating it must be not to be able to play in the tournament that he's worked so hard for this year. I hope he has someone around to talk to... Actually, I wish I could see him. But, it's not like I can march up to his house ...can I? No. After all the commotion I caused a few months ago when he invited me to his house, I can't bring myself to do that. So...what can I do?

Wait, perhaps Wakabayashi has already taught me what to do. I search for stationary and sat down to write.

 _"Wakabayashi-kun,"_ I put my pen down again. What am I supposed to say? I'm worried about you? That's a little lame on paper, isn't it? How am I supposed to get my feelings across without sounding like an idiot?

 _"I know it must be disappointing for you not to be able to play with the team. You've worked so hard to get this far, and this must seem like a dead end. It's not. The team would never have gotten here without you. So don't even question what your hard work was for. And as for your chance to prove yourself, it will come soon enough. I hope you'll take this period of rest seriously, as nothing other than your top form will be enough for the National finals._

 _Tsubasa-kun and the team are resolved to get you there. I've already promised to help Tsubasa-kun. So you'd better make sure your leg is fully healed, and you're ready, because they'll be counting on you then. You must get better._

 _RM"_

I seal the note in an envelope. And like Wakabayashi had done before, I leave the envelope blank. Then, start out the door for Tsubasa's house.


	17. Chapter 17 - The Second Invitation

*****Chapter 17 - The Second Invitation *****

The doctor said that I had sprained my ankle badly. It wasn't broken, but I'd have to rest it for 2 weeks. Exactly the 2 weeks of the Nationals. If I am good, and it heals properly, I might be able to play in the finals. Of course, what form would I be in after being confined to the house for 2 weeks? Whether or not I healed in time, the situation would still be disappointing.

I tried not to think about the incident with Ishizake during the Regional finals. I know he had no intent to hurt me. I just can't believe that he was so unaware of what was going on around him, especially since he knew that I'd be watching for the ball too. But then, we're all learning to work as a team, I guess. What do I do now? Sit here and watch my ankle heal while everyone else practices for the Nationals? I don't even know how I'm going to watch the Nationals. It will be so painful to see the team compete, and not be there. All I can do is sit here. Already, I've been talking myself in circles. I'm going to go crazy in this house.

I wish I could just go see Rai. I feel like talking to her. I have to heal enough to at least walk myself to her place.

Was that he doorbell?

"Otouto! Your friend Tsubasa is here to see you," called my big brother from downstairs. A minute later, I heard Tsubasa bounding up the stairs.

"Wakabayashi-kun!"

"Tsubasa, it's so nice to see you. I've been couped up here for 2 days and I feel like I'm in a dungeon. How was practice? Is everything ok? Are Kisugi and those guys giving you a hard time? I can talk to them, if you want," I was so happy to see him, that I showered him with questions.

"Don't worry Wakabayashi-kun, the team is taking everything very seriously. We're going to make it through the Nationals. We know what we have to do. Rai-chan is going to help me figure out what to do with the defense players, and ...oh. uhm... here. This is from Rai-chan."

He handed me a blank envelope. I took it from him. I wasn't sure I wanted to read it in front of Tsubasa. So I chatted with him about the team, instead. After we had caught up, he telling me details of the team, and I telling him about the details of my ankle, he said thoughtfully, "You know, maybe you should read the letter. That way, if you want me to bring anything back, I can."

It was a good idea. I let him go through my pile of soccer magazines as I limped to my desk and sat down to read what Rai had written.

The note was short. She was direct, maybe even a bit forceful, in her words that practically commanded me to get better. Since when does she tell me what to do? Actually, she often has, just not in such a direct fashion, and I've gladly, and sometimes even unknowingly, obeyed. I couldn't help smiling. She doesn't know what else she can do, so she's resorted to writing me a letter. That sounds familiar. The thought of Rai feeling the way I did a few months ago somehow made me feel better. It suggested that she cared about me.

I looked at Tsubasa, on the floor of my bedroom, with no less than 10 magazines opened around him. How is he reading so many at once? That guy is like a sponge. He soaks up everything that's soccer-related. Anyway, he'll be pre-occupied for a while. I started to write.

 _"Miss Mikami,_

 _My ankle is healing. Too slowly for my liking, but I guess I'm not the one in control. I will definitely take my doctor's orders seriously. I don't plan on disappointing you or the team. I'll be ready for the finals._

 _Do I need to provide a formal invitation for you to come over? You know I'd go over to your house to find you, if I were allowed out of my house. Don't make me do that. It wouldn't be good for my ankle._

 _If you're going to command me to get better, you should do it in person. And now that we've established that we're good friends, at least come by to cheer me up._

 _ps. I promise that if you come, I'll send the ghosts away from my haunted house._

 _GW_ "

I sealed the letter in another blank envelope. I gave the letter to Tsubasa, along with a stack of my soccer magazines that he had been reading, and watched him leave.


	18. Chapter 18 - Going to the Nationals

*****Chapter 18 - Going to the Nationals *****

I went earlier to practice today, hoping that I could talk to Tsubasa. He didn't come to find me yesterday, and I didn't know if he had given the letter to Wakabayashi. I waited impatiently for him to get to the field.

"Tsubasa-kun!" I called, as I finally saw him emerge from the trees and onto the field.

He waved and ran over to me. "Rai-chan. I have something for you," he said, as he opened his bag and took out an envelope.

"Is he...ok?" I inquired.

"He looks pretty normal, except for the bandages on his ankle, and the fact that he needs to keep his foot up for the time being. He can still hobble around his room, but other than sitting around, he's not really allowed to do much else. He didn't show it, but I'll bet it's driving him mad. I know it would drive me mad," replied Tsubasa, thoughtfully.

"Me too," I agreed.

Tomorrow is the start of the Nationals. It is summer break, and the games will play out over the next two weeks. Most games will be televised. The team cannot contain their excitement. I am excited for them too. But watching them also makes me sad. This time, I don't care that I'm not going to play. Instead, I care that Wakabayashi isn't going to play.

While Tsubasa is on the field, practicing with the team, I open Wakabayashi's letter. I read it over many times. It is a relief that he can still be light-hearted about the situation, but then, he's always been strong. I picture him alternating between complete boredom, wild disappointment, and frustration. I should go over. Do I need him to be any more clear about it? What prevents me now from going over there, anyway? He's right. Now that I've admitted to him and myself that we're good friends, how can I leave him to suffer alone?

After practice, Tsubasa and Misaki come over. "Rai-chan, are you going to come to the game tomorrow? There's room on the bus. Sanae is going to go, of course. You can too," announces Misaki.

I am about to agree, but then realize that I belong somewhere else.

"No Misaki-kun. I won't be able to go to tomorrow's game. I'll watch it on television. I know you guys will be great. Make sure you guys look good for the cameras!"


	19. Chapter 19 - Wakabayashi's House

*****Chapter 19 - Wakabyashi's House *****

Today is Saturday. The big day. The team should be leaving soon to get to the field for the opening ceremonies and their first game. I've decided to be elsewhere.

I've packed my sketchbook and pencils, a pack of cards, a lunch, a pack of cookies, and a bag of candies. Mom is at work today, and...need I even say it, my father is not in town. I leave the house mid-morning, and walk past the soccer field, now eerily quiet, the school, more houses, and into a neighborhood with large, multi-story mansions, each on beautifully kept grounds. Even though it's summer, no one is outside, or at least, not in their front yards.

It's a warm day, but not too hot. That should be good for the team. It's hard to play when it's too hot. Nankatsu plays shortly after the Opening Ceremonies. I've timed this so that I can arrive shortly before Opening Ceremonies. I am worried about how he'll feel, watching everything on television, instead of being there. At least, now he won't be alone when he watches the game.

I reach the front gate. It's open, so I walk up to the door and ring the doorbell. A young man, maybe in his twenties, answers the door. He looks a bit like Wakabayashi, but much more heavier set. He's too young to be Wakabyashi's father, so this must be his older brother.

"Hello. I'm Rai. Is Genzo at home?"

The young man looks a bit surprised, and then moves aside to let me in. I enter and stand in their large foyer. He smiles and says, "Hi, I'm Genzo's brother. Let me go tell him he has a visitor. Here, sit down and make yourself comfortable." He points to the well-furnished sitting room just off the foyer. I take off my shoes and sit where I've been told to. I don't know if this house has ghosts, but it is large, and a bit intimidating.

I hear Wakabayashi's brother come down the stairs again. This time, he has an amused, mischevious smile on his face, as he says, "I apologize, but our Genzo needs a little time to get ready. Apparently, he needs to clean his room, something he should've done ages ago, when his mom asked him to. But you know how kids are... Would you like anything to drink? Do you like pop?"

"Niisan! Can you please just shut-up?" calls Wakabayashi from somewhere above us.

His brother chuckles. "So, are you in the same class?" he asks, eyebrows raised in inquiry, sitting down in the chair directly in front of me.

"Not really. I'm classmates with some of the members of his soccer team, and I guess I've just spent a lot of time with them at practices."

"Really? So do you play soccer too?"

"I'm...more of a spectator."

I can tell this is going to turn into an interview, if I don't stop him somehow. I try to turn the tables, "I can tell you two are brothers. You are alike."

"Well. My baby brother is a lot more fit than I am, that's for sure," he laughs, looking down at himself.

I smile. They obviously are close. It must be nice to have an older brother or sister. I can see photos of the family around the room. There are three sons, and this one is the eldest. I know Wakabayashi is the youngest. I wonder what his second brother is like.

"Is this you?" I ask, pointing at an older photograph of a young boy with his parents.

"Yes. Before I had to share everything with two other monsters," he says, with mock exasperation. Then he smiles at me playfully. I've seen the same smile on Wakabayashi.

"Then, you are definitely alike," I conclude.

"Well, I just don't see it then. My little brother is so much better looking. I've always said that he got the better end of the deal. Maybe you need glasses," he points a finger playfully at me.

"I never said you looked alike."

"Then what is the resemblance?"

"The expression in your eyes, and your smile. I see the same personality in your eyes. I see the same kindness and playfulness. I guess I don't know if you're as determined as he is, but I'll bet that you can be."

He looks surprised for a moment. "Well, I would have to agree with you. You, are very observant. What did you say your name was?"

"Rai."

"Rai-chan. I will remember that."

"Niisan! I told you to leave her alone!" cries Wakabayashi from upstairs. This time, his voice is louder, as if he is standing at the top of the stairs.

His brother gives me an apologetic smile and motions for me to follow him. He takes me upstairs, and stops at Wakabayashi's doorway.

"Ok. She's all yours!" he announces, and marches back downstairs.

I stand in the doorway, and look in. His room is large and tidy. His bed is made. Everything on his shelves appear straight. I compare his room to my own bedroom, complete with my messy bookcase, where books would slide off every now and then if you walked too close to it. I didn't think that he'd be the type to have a messy room anyway.

He stands next to an armchair in the middle of the room, which is in front of a television set.

"Nice setup," I observe, looking at the television and the armchair. "Sit down. Isn't your foot supposed to be up?"

He grins and moves himself into the armchair. He puts his foot up on the ottoman in front of him. He continues to look at me, still smiling, but silent.

"What? " I ask, feeling self-conscious.

"You came. I was wondering if you would. I mean, I wanted you to, but I wasn't sure if I'd have to go get you, or something."

"Well," I shrug, "You said you'd get rid of the ghosts in your house for me. Anyways, I'm prepared to spend most of the day here, so I hope you don't regret inviting me." I put my bag down on his floor.

I hear footsteps coming up the stairs again. This time, Wakabayashi's brother is carrying a tray with two bowls of ramen.

"Lunch is served," announces Wakabayashi's brother, bowing after putting the tray down on Wakabayashi's desk. "If Master has any other orders, I'll be downstairs."

Wakabayashi gives him a "You're so strange, now get out" look, and his brother leaves the room.

"Your brother is funny. I like him. You two must get along really well," I say, as I take one of the bowls of ramen and bring it over to Wakabayashi.

"He's great when he's not being silly. I swear, sometimes I don't know which one of us is older. My parents are always busy at the company, so over the last few years, he's been the one that's really been here for me. My other brother is in a private school and lives there. So it's really been just the two of us at home," explains Wakabayashi.

The Opening Ceremonies are about to begin. From where he is sitting, Wakabayashi reaches over and pulls a bean bag chair closer to him, and motions for me to sit. We pay little attention to the boring speeches made by the officials, and pass the time watching to see if the team shows up on television, eating ramen, and then the cookies and candies that I had brought.

I, having packed my sketchbook, draw a cartoonish looking Wakabayashi in an armchair, using the real one as my model. Since he is stuck in the chair anyway, he patiently waits for me to sketch him. Although he is the one being sketched, I feel like I am the one being stared at. I try to hide myself behind my sketchbook as I draw.

"Are you hiding?" he asks.

"You're staring at me."

"No, I'm not," he says, trying hard not to let a smile escape.

"Go stare at the television."

"But then you won't see my face. I don't want to be a faceless person, even if I am a cartoon," he complains.

I motion for him to look at the television. He reluctantly obeys.


	20. Chapter 20 - Nationals - The First Game

*****Chapter 20 - Nationals -The First Game *****

When the time came for the Nankatsu FC game to start, I sat down next to Wakabayashi to watch. Our first game was against Meiwa. Oh no. So soon? Wakabayashi had wanted to take on Kojiro Hyuga, Meiwa's captain, who had snuck into one of Nankatsu's practices to challenge Wakabayashi. Hyuga's shot had been powerful, and though Wakabayashi had caught the ball, he also felt its menacing force.

But now, Morisaki would have to deal with him. As the game started, I could tell that Wakabayashi was tense. Even he had been challenged by Hyuga's shot. Morisaki would have no chance. Defense would have to try to stop Hyuga before he got to the net. But we both knew that our defense was unlikely to be effective against Hyuga. What will Tsubasa do?

I could see Wakabayashi's hands clenched into a fist as he watched. Many times, I saw him start to say something, but stop, and just shake his head, remembering that he wasn't on the field. Meiwa was a strong team, and Hyuga was its core. We watched as Hyuga tried to intimidate Morisaki by deliberately shooting the ball at him, just as he did with Wakabayashi. But unlike Wakabayashi, Morisaki couldn't keep the ball, and Meiwa not only succeeded in getting a goal, but also in scaring the daylights out of Morisaki. After that, Morisaki looked fearful of the ball and let in another goal.

"I should be there. He wouldn't be able to intimidate me. I'd keep the balls out. Hyuga purposely hit Morisaki so that he would be afraid of the ball. That's a dirty trick," Wakabayashi said through clenched teeth.

He couldn't look at the television anymore. Instead, he hung his head and closed his eyes. His fists were tight. He looked like he was in pain. I put my hand over one of his fists and squeezed gently. Without moving anything else, he opened his fist and held my hand.

I continued to watch for the both of us. I saw Tsubasa play defense as he kicked the next would-be goal before it reached the net. I squeezed Wakabayashi's hand again, and said, "Tsubasa's playing defense. He's going to help Morisaki. Hopefully Morisaki will play for himself again."

Wakabayashi looked up at the screen. I gasped as I watched Tsubasa take a direct hit as he used his body to block Hyuga's next powerful shot at net. Wakabayashi shook his head in disbelief that his friend had to go to such lengths to protect the net that he himself should be defending. After Tsubasa's painful save, Morisaki seemed to regain confidence, and was able to defend again, but too much time had been wasted, and the whistle signalled the end of the game. Wakabayashi slammed his remaining fist on the armchair. His whole body quivering as he struggled with the anger and frustration inside of him.

I waited for his emotions to subside, but instead, his anger turned on himself, as he started to resent himself for not being there. They had lost the first game. What kind of a start is that? It would make everything harder for the team. If only he could have been there, he reasoned.

"No. Stop it. Your ankle is a reality. You have to accept that. Just like the team has lost their first match. They have to accept that too. Both you and the team need to move on now. I will say the same to the team at their next practice. As for you, you will keep your ankle up so that it heals properly. In the meantime, you will watch the games and look for things that might be useful to our team. You will not get wrapped up feeling bad for yourself, wondering what would have happened if you were there. That's not useful to you or anyone else. You'll work on improving other aspects of your game. Do that by observing other strong teams. Here," I grab a pencil and a piece of paper from his desk. "Learn to take notes," I instructed.

He stares at me. Silence.

I sigh, and soften my tone, "Wakabayashi-kun, you are the only one that can stop yourself from getting lost in an endless spiral of resentment and anger. Stop it. I'm telling you that you can take this as an opportunity to improve yourself in a different way. Not with the usual working out at the gym, or soccer practice on the field, but up here," I said as I pointed at his head.

"For now, you'll use your eyes, instead of your arms and legs. Watch the other teams and find their weaknesses so we can use it to our advantage if and when we go up against them. Then find their strengths, so that we can improve."

He thinks about it for a while. I can see him mulling my words over in his head.

Finally, he nods, and his smile returns once more, "Well. Looks like you don't need to worry about my haunted house. You've done a fine job helping me get rid of my ghosts."

For the rest of the afternoon, Wakabayashi entertains me with the things around his room. With each of his possessions, I learn a little bit more about him. He might have kept me there forever, if I hadn't said my mom would be home soon, and that I really needed to get back. He makes me promise to come back for the next few days to watch the Nationals with him. I know he just wants some company.

I go downstairs. Wakabayashi's brother is watching television in the main room. It is a very large television. I understand now what Wakabayashi had meant when he first invited Tsubasa and I to watch a soccer game at his house. It definitely would have been cool to watch a game on that big screen.

"Thank you. I am going now. It was nice to meet you," I say.

Wakabayashi's brother looks over and smiles. He turns off the television.

"You're going already? Oh. Wait a minute."

He leaves the room and runs up the stairs. A minute later, he's back down.

"I'm going to drive you home. It will be faster," he says.

"Oh. No. It's ok, really. I can walk," I don't want to bother him.

"No. No. You don't need to be polite about it. It's no bother. Besides, when Master Genzo calls for his chauffeur, who dares to disobey?" he says, with the mischevious grin that I had seen earlier.

In the car, Wakabayashi's brother is friendly and talkative.

"You really must come back to watch the other games. I can see Genzo really enjoys your company. To tell you the truth, I've never seen him invite friends over, until Tsubasa came, and now, you. All these years, I thought my baby brother had no close friends. You know how aloof he can be."

"I think he's a bit guarded with people whom he doesn't think will understand his dedication to soccer, which, I assume is most people. I can understand that." I refrained from mentioning that he also probably didn't want to overwhelm people with the size of his house...

"You put it nicely. Genzo used to be a spoiled little brat when he was really young. What he wanted, he got. He was a determined and persistent little monster. I suspect he was a bit of a bully at school too. He's always loved soccer though. He has talent, coaches told my parents. We were relieved when he started spending more of his time playing soccer, rather than antagonizing everyone.

When my parents hired his current coach, Coach Mikami, a few years ago, that's when Genzo really improved. He got really serious about soccer, and his coach was able to turn his talent and hard work into results. I'm proud of what he's been able to do in soccer, but even more than that, I am proud of the way he's changed over the last couple of years. His coach gave him discipline. Genzo became very independent. He's always been clear about what he wants, and now, he has the foresight and discipline to get there.

In the last year though, I've seen the biggest change in him, so far. He's not a monster anymore. He's not annoyingly arrogant anymore either. He's confident, and he should be.

I just thought my baby brother was changing because he's getting older. But now, I've met you and Tsubasa. I see that he's had help. I know Genzo thinks the world of Tsubasa, and when you mentor someone, not only do you teach things, but you learn things too. You grow, just as the person you're mentoring grows. Genzo's really taken a liking to Tsubasa, and wants to help Tsubasa reach his full potential. In the process, he's really grown up himself."

I am silent for a while, as I think about all this. He made a lot of sense.

"...and...with me? Do you think he's mentoring me?" I asked, intrigued by the conversation.

"No," he chuckles, as if I just told him a mildly funny joke.

"He's not mentoring you... Maybe you're mentoring him," he glances at me briefly, then looks back at the road.

He thinks for a moment, as if he's trying to choose his words carefully,

"Actually, I think he's found a good friend in you. Someone he can really talk to, and I can see why," he smiles at me.

When we reach my house, I thank him for the ride. He gets out of the car and opens the door for me.

"Miss Rai," he says, as he bows.

I giggle at his antics.

"Rai-chan. Make sure you come over tomorrow too. Genzo told me to remind you," are his final words to me.

I nodded and went back into my house.


	21. Chapter 21 - Rehabilitation

*****Chapter 21 - Rehabilitation *****

Over the next few days, I watched the Nationals at Wakabayashi's house. His brother joined us on the Sunday, but when he was back at work on the Monday, we were left alone, except for their housekeeper, who stayed mainly out of sight.

I helped Wakabayashi down the stairs, and we watched the games in the room with the large television. He brought a pen and notebook down with him. I smiled when I saw it, as I knew he had taken what I had said previously to heart. We made notes on each of the other teams about their playing style, strengths, weaknesses, and key players. We watched the Nankatsu games carefully, and noted improvements that our team needed.

"Tsubasa is really pulling the team together. He's really improved as a player, and also as a leader," I observed.

Wakabayashi nodded, "I'm happy I decided to give him the captain's mark."

I looked at Wakabayashi in surprise. "You gave him your mark? I thought maybe the coach had decided that."

He looked back at me, "I saw him take hold of the game after I was injured. I didn't know how long I'd be away for, but I sensed that it would be more than just a game or two. The team needs a captain. He wasn't really ready yet, but I could see that he could grow into it. You've seen for yourself how quickly Tsubasa can grow and improve. I was sure that he would grow into the captain's role, if he were given the chance. So I asked him to take over as captain. Coach and the team ultimately agreed."

He wasn't sure about the expression on my face, and asked, "Why? Does it bother you that I gave the Captain's mark away?"

I thought about what I was feeling for a moment, then said, "It surprises me that you gave the mark away. I'm not sure I could've done what you did, but it was the right thing to do for the team. That you gave it to Tsubasa shows that you can see something in him that even he doesn't see yet. And it looks like you were right about that too. I'm not bothered by what you did. I am...I am...amazed. It says so much about the kind of person you are. I'm happy, that you did what you did. You're strong enough to recognize strength in others," I said, thoughtfully.

I really was in awe. A feeling of pride swept over me. I really was proud to have him as a close friend. I gave him a big encouraging smile.

His expression changed in front of me. I wasn't sure why. He looked at me with an intensity in his eyes that I had never seen before. It felt like he was looking straight into me...my soul? my heart? What is he looking at? It seemed like we were looking at each other for a long time. I didn't know what to say.

"Rai... I... I think... I think... I'm...in...l.," he started slowly. Then suddenly, he broke his gaze and looked down at the floor for a moment. He swallowed hard, shook his head slightly, and looked up again. But this time, the intensity in his eyes was gone.

I was completely confused now. "Are you...ok?" I asked.

He smiled as he reached for my hand, "Rai Mikami. You are my best friend."

Over the week, his ankle improved, and he could walk again for brief periods. With the summer weather being so warm, we went outside a lot. I loved the garden in their backyard. It was filled with pretty flowers and trees. Beyond the garden was a large stretch of grass, where a full-sized soccer net stood. I looked at the net, and pictured my father and Wakabayashi training. I looked away, and kept to the garden.

In the second week of his rehabilitation, Wakabayashi was able to walk normally again. He was well enough to start light training too. My father was back in town, and I know that in the evenings, he went to Wakabayashi's house to help him work in the gym to get his leg in shape again. I still saw Wakabayashi every day, and despite his insistence that my father never showed up until after dinner, I avoided staying at his house past mid-afternoon. I wanted to be sure I wouldn't run into my father.

The team was doing well at the Nationals. Tsubasa was being true to his word. He'd take the team to the finals. In the few days before the finals, Wakabayashi started to ramp up his training again.

One day, he said, "Rai, let's go outside. It's not too hot."

I followed him as we wound our way through his house toward the back door to the garden. On the way, he picked up his goalkeeping gloves and a soccer ball. Outside, he walked through the garden and onto the large stretch of grass. I stopped at the edge of the grass. He looked back to see me standing there, and trudged back. He took my hand and pulled me to the middle of his field.

"Shoot on me," he said.

I thought back to the last time I tried to shoot a ball past him. That had changed things for us. I had decided to like him once and for all, rather than resent him. Yet the thought of playing with him here, in his backyard, where he trains with my father, still made me uneasy. It is true that I don't resent Wakabayashi. But I still resent my father.

"Come on Rai. Kick the ball. I need to get ready for the finals. You'll have to help me," he called from the net.

Well, I am the only one here. I thought for a moment. He ran back to me.

"Rai. Look. You have to do this. I know you don't like to be reminded of your dad, but the fact is, I've trained in this yard for years. It's a part of me. I want you to know everything about me. I'm not going to hide anything from you. If you're going to be my friend, you'll need to accept me and everything about me. Can you do that?" he looked at me earnestly.

He was right. How could we be close friends yet block certain parts of our lives from each other? I've been open with him, and he's accepted me without question. Why can't I accept all of him?

"Ok. Try not to push yourself so hard. I don't want you to hurt your ankle again."

He grinned and ran back to the net.

It took me a few shots to get used to kicking the ball again. He wasn't challenged much, even in his rehabilitating form. When I was warmed up, my shooting became stronger and faster. My accuracy increased, and I started to spin the ball again. I shot close to 30 times. I was able to get only a few past him.

"Well. Isn't this a dream-come-true for me," I half joked, when one of my shots finally went in.

"Don't get too comfortable with it. My ankle is not quite 100%, but it will be soon, and then I'll shut you out, Mikami" came the reply.

I smiled. I know you will, Wakabayashi-kun, and you'll shut out the opposing team at the National finals too, I thought to myself.


	22. Chapter 22 - Ready for the Finals

*****Chapter 22 - Ready for the Finals *****

Despite spending a lot of time at Wakabayashi's house, I still attended the team practices that occured between their games, albeit for a shorter time. The "post-practice analysis" I had with Wakabayashi, I now had with Tsubasa. During this time, we analysed the previous game, and discussed the upcoming team they would be against. I used Wakabayashi's notes. Tsubasa was less of a strategist than he was a genius on the field, so most of the conversation was one-sided. But he listened carefully, and diligently made the team carry out anything we decided upon during our discussions.

At last, the National finals. The team was so excited. They were almost there. One game stood between them and the championship. Meiwa was the opposing team, and Tsubasa was eager to face Hyuga once again. Wakabayashi was ready to play now, though he had not practiced with the team.

"Tsubasa, what do you think about playing Wakabayashi at tomorrow's final?" I said, wondering how Tsubasa felt.

"We need him to play. There's no other way to stop Hyuga's shots consistently." he said definitively.

"He hasn't played with you these past two weeks. The team has improved so much throughout the games at the Nationals. Do you still have confidence in him?" I asked.

Admittedly, that one wasn't my question. It was Wakabayashi's. He asked me to see what the team thought of him joining them again.

"Wakabayashi-kun promised he'd get better in time for the finals. I promised to get the team there. We've been waiting for him. With him, we'll have the best chance at getting the championship. Please don't tell me he's not ready, Rai-chan," he looked at me with fear.

"Don't worry, Tsubasa-kun. You concentrate on the team. He's ready. He'll be there," I re-assured him.

With that, Tsubasa and the team went home for a good night's rest before their big day.


	23. Chapter 23 - Victory

*****Chapter 23 - Victory *****

This is the day. The finals. This is what the team has worked so hard for this year. This is the last hurdle. Meiwa would be tough. Hyuga and the Meiwa offense was intimidating, but Nankatsu had improved greatly from their experience playing through the rounds at the Nationals to get here, and they now played as a tight-knit team. Nankatsu was a well-oiled machine.

Tsubasa had grown as a player, and his instincts on the field were already known to be the best in the competition. But even more, he was able to motivate his teammates, and bring out the best in them. Misaki and Tsubasa had grown so close on and off the field, that the Golden Duo were like extensions of the same person when they played. And this time, Hyuga would not be able to force his way into the net, because Wakabayashi would be there as Nankatsu's impenetrable final wall of defense.

The team was pumped up. I sat in the stands again, with Sanae and Manabu, watching the players as they filed onto the field.

"Go Tsubasa!" Sanae yelled gleefully.

That girl can really yell. Although, we were quite close to the field, the noise in the large stadium was still very loud with all the cheering fans, yet her voice carried down four stands below us, to Tsubasa's ears. He looked up at us and waved. I smiled and waved back. I looked at Wakabayashi, who nodded and touched the front of his cap. We had agreed that this was his signal to me that everything was ok. I gave him a big smile and nodded back in acknowledgement.

The game was exciting, with both teams giving everything they had to claim the top spot in the championship. It was everything we had expected it to be. Meiwa was unrelenting in its aggressive attacks, and Wakabayashi had to protect the net many times, and in a spectacular fashion. His injury had not diminished his skill and ability. Tsubasa and Misaki had opportunities to challenge Meiwa's goalkeeper too, but their mystery goalkeeper miraculously kept all Nankatsu's balls out of the net. With both team's nets complete guarded, their respective attacks on each other resulted only in a tie, with no points scored.

As the game went into overtime, I noticed Wakabayashi's stance in front of the net had changed. His usual, well-balanced form was leaning slightly to the right. I squinted and looked closely at him. He no longer moved as quickly, and as a result, caught less of the shots directly. Instead, he was blocking and punching them out of the net. Oh no. I thought. There's something wrong.

"What's wrong, Rai-chan? You look...worried," Manabu asked.

"I don't really know...I hope nothing is wrong," I answered.

"Is it Tsubasa-kun?" asked Sanae.

"No. It's Wakabayashi-kun. There's something wrong with the way he's standing and moving," I said, without taking my eyes off him.

"He's doing great. Look at him. Meiwa has increased their attacks, and he's defended every one of them so far. He's in top form," observed Manabu.

I didn't bother to answer him. I'm not trying to debate the issue. There is definitely something wrong. Is it his ankle? Is it bothering him again?

A few minutes later, my fear was confirmed. Hyuga had shot at the net, and Wakabayashi had jumped to catch the ball. Successful, Wakabayshi landed on the ground, but his left leg gave out and he stumbled in pain. Somehow, he stood up again and threw the ball to Kisugi, hoping that he would send the ball to Tsubasa and Misaki who had stayed mid-field in order to seize any chance to attack. That had left Wakabayashi to defend the net against Meiwa's barrage of shots. The sooner they could get the ball out to Tsubasa, the better. However, Kisugi lost the ball to Hyuga, who shot even harder at net now, knowing that Wakabayashi was in pain. Fortunately, Ishizake blocked the shot, giving Wakabayashi the chance to send the ball back to mid-field, and the waiting Golden Duo. Tsubasa made a phenomenal shot giving Nankatsu a single, and winning, goal.

The stadium was silent as the unbelievable had happened. Tsubasa had succeeded in the final seconds to win the game! We rose from our seats overjoyed at Nankatsu's win, and suddenly, the roar of thunderous applause and cheering was heard. I was relieved that the game was over, and that Wakabayashi would not have to take a further beating. He was limping so badly now that he needed Ishizake to prop him up. As the team lined up on the field to thank the spectators, he looked up at me, and touched the front of his cap again. This time, I couldn't smile. He can touch his cap all he wants, he's clearly not all right.

Nankatsu was presented with the championship flag, and Sanae practically fainted from exhilaration that her Tsubasa, Team Captain, was down there waving it. As happy as I was that my friends had won, I was also impatient for the Closing Ceremonies to end so that the team could pack and I could see Wakabayashi.

With the once full stadium now deserted, Sanae and I snuck into the back rooms and found the change room Nankatsu was using. We could hear the boys celebrating inside. We could hear bits and pieces of their conversation. They talked about the game, then, what they could do to celebrate their win.

Finally, the door opened, and they started to leave. Sanae forced her way in to find Tsubasa. I stayed outside the room, not wanting to be in a crowd. I could hear her voice though. After all her eagerness to find Tsubasa, she couldn't seem to find her words when she finally saw him. I smiled and shook my head at the thought of Sanae, who had been so loud in the stands, now so meek in front of the boy she so worshipped.

"Rai-chan!" Misaki said as he left the change room and saw me.

"Misaki-kun! Congratulations! You were great." I said, beaming a smile at him.

"I am so happy, Rai-chan! I'm so honored to be have played with these guys. I've played for so many teams, and this really is the best time I've ever had. Winning this is like a dream come true for me!" he gushed.

"Misaki-kun. You are so talented. This will definitely not be the only time you will have such a victory," I told him, and I truly believed it.

"Wakabayashi-kun is still in there. His ankle is hurting," he continued.

"I know. Thanks, Misaki-kun," I replied.

After most of the boys had left, I walked into the change room. Wakabayashi, Tsubasa, Sanae and Ishizake were still inside.

"Congratulations, you guys. You were amazing. You fought until the end, and you never gave up!" I said in a cheerful voice, though my eyes couldn't help but wander to Wakabayashi's ankle.

"Rai-chan! It was the best time of my life! I love soccer! This is just the beginning!" cried Tsubasa enthusiastically. I couldn't help but laugh at him. He was so full of happiness.

"Tsubasa, we better go soon, the guys have all gone up to the bus. Wakabayashi, let's get you upstairs," said Ishizake.

"No, it's ok guys. My brother came to watch the game, he'll drive me back. I have to see a doctor anyway. You guys go ahead. Rai will help me," replied Wakabayashi.

Tsubasa and Ishizake hesitated, as they thought about leaving their friend behind.

"Come on, Tsubasa-kun," Sanae said as she urged Tsubasa out the door.

"Ok then, get your ankle checked-out. We'll see you tomorrow back on the practice field, right? We still need to celebrate our victory!" said Tsubasa, as they left the room.

Once they had left, Wakabayashi turned to me, "How did you get in here?"

"I snuck in with Sanae," I shrugged.

"You snuck in to see me?" he smiled slyly.

"No. I just like sneaking around stadiums," I said, flatly, somehow not wanting to say what was plainly obvious.

"Are you upset that I still played after I hurt my ankle again?" he asked, gently.

Is that what he thinks? That I'm upset at him? I looked up at him, "I'm not upset at you. How can I be upset that you valiantly defended the net through the barrage of Meiwa attacks? Tsubasa and Misaki didn't go back to help out during overtime. You must have told them not to. That left you with the burden of facing Hyuga directly, and practically alone. You wanted that challenge, and you got it. You overcame it, and ultimately won. For anyone else, that would have been a spectacular victory, but for you, that's not enough. You have to do it with a badly injured ankle."

I smiled at him and continued, "I am so proud of you. What else do you think I would feel? You are the best youth goalkeeper in Japan. I just wish you didn't have to play through so much pain."

Suddenly, his eyes darkened. I've seen this look before - the same intensity in his eyes, like he was looking straight into me. I felt very self-conscious. I wanted to hide somewhere, but his eyes held me there. He reached for my hand.

"Rai...I...I..."

"Genzo! There you are! I've been waiting outside the stadium for you to come out! You took so long I started to worry about you. Is it your ankle again? Your Coach says you should see a doctor. Let's go. Boy, Mom's going to freak out if you've injured it again," a voice suddenly said, from somewhere behind Wakabayashi.

I jumped at the voice. Wakabayashi dropped my hand.

"...N...Niisan," Wakabayashi stammered, as he turned around.

"Oh, Rai-chan! You're here too. Good. You help him walk, I'll get his stuff. You might as well come with us to see the doctor. I'll drive you back home later, " said his brother.

 **Author's Note: Thanks to all those still reading this. Hope you're enjoying it!**


	24. Chapter 24 - The First to Leave

*****Chapter 24 - The First to Leave *****

The doctor said that Wakabayashi's ankle was sprained again. This time, not as badly as the first, but playing so intensely and so soon after his first injury meant that his recovery was set back for another week. He could walk on it now, but he could not practice or play.

This was fine, since the team spent the next few days together celebrating both summer vacation, and their victory at the Nationals. This included things like going on a picnics, and watching movies. Though I wasn't a player on the team, either Tsubasa or Misaki always asked me to go. Once, Tsubasa even observed, "If you go, Rai, then Wakabayashi-kun will probably go. Come on Rai, it's a good movie, you'll like it." I wondered if he said the reverse to Wakabayashi.

It was during a leisurely walk to the store for ice cream, that I noticed Misaki's listless face. Misaki, whose smile I thought was permanently etched on his face, was clearly not into the chatter of his fellow team mates. He walked a little behind everyone. I fell back to accompany him.

"What's wrong, Misaki-kun? You're not your usual cheerful self. Something is bothering you," I observed.

"My father accepted an assignment in France. I have to leave in a few days," he mumbled to the ground.

I knew Misaki's father was an artist that traveled extensively, and I knew Misaki always followed him. Misaki himself had said that though he hated leaving friends behind, he liked meeting new ones. He loved seeing the world with his father. I had even envied the father-son relationship they shared, knowing that it was something that I could never have. Misaki and his father chose to face life together. It had painfully reminded me of the different choice my father had made.

"I'm used to always leaving. But this time, my friends ...Tsubasa, you, the team...are so much closer to me than the others. I...I...still want to play soccer with Tsubasa. I don't want to go," he said sadly.

As the others turned the corner to enter the store, I stopped Misaki on the sidewalk.

"Misaki-kun. This is too sudden. I...we...all have gotten along so well. Do you have to go?" I found myself asking, even though I knew he had to.

He nodded.

Misaki had really grown on me. His presence always cheered me up, and I couldn't help but feel that our time together was too short. He's one of those people you want to have around you all the time because he makes you smile with him. Then, an awful feeling came over me, "Oh no. You haven't told Tsubasa yet..."

He shook his head sadly, and I could see his whole body sag further.

"I don't know what to say him, Rai-chan."

I was at a loss for words. I was caught between my own shock because my good friend was leaving, and the pain that I knew Tsubasa would feel when he found out his best friend was going. I put my hand on his shoulder, in an attempt to comfort him, but I knew that nothing would work.

Wakabayashi poked his head back around the corner, "There you are. I was wondering where you guys went. Are you coming? Hey, is everything ok?"

Misaki and I continued toward the store. As we came up to Wakabayashi, I answered his inquiring look with a slight shake of the head. He did not to pursue the issue further.

Later that day, when Wakabayashi walked me home, I told him the news about Misaki. Wakabayashi listened sympathetically.

"Misaki doesn't know how to tell Tsubasa. But it will hurt even more the longer he waits," I sighed.

"Those two are the best of friends on and off the field. For sure, they will miss each other. But you know, Misaki has moved so many times. And each time, soccer has been his one constant thing. Have you noticed how many friends he sees again, because he plays soccer? Think of the Nationals. Look at the people he knew from past teams he's played with. He knows that if he continues playing soccer, he'll see his friends again," reasoned Wakabayashi.

I have to believe that he's right.


	25. Chapter 25 - Germany Calls

*****Chapter 25 - Germany Calls *****

This morning, as I ate breakfast in the kitchen, still gloomy from yesterday's news that Misaki was leaving, my father walked in. He had returned from Germany the night before. My mom looked up from her newspaper and smiled. She got up to make him a cup of tea. I mumbled "Good morning," and gave a brief nod somewhere in his direction, and concentrated on my breakfast.

After a few minutes of silence, except for the occasional clinking of dishes and cups on the table, my Father announced, "I've been offered a position within the German Football Association. I'll be part of the administration, overseeing one of their teams."

My mom put down her cup. I stopped chewing.

He continued, "It will be for at least a year, probably more."

I looked at my mom, but couldn't tell what she was thinking. Was she stunned by the sudden news? Probably. Was she happy for him? She wasn't as into soccer as my father or I, but even she would know this was a really, really big deal. Soccer is huge in Germany. The Bundesliga is one of the most successfull leagues in the world. Internationally, German teams have always been strong. As part of this, his career in the soccer world would really take off. Or, maybe she was thinking about us, as in, our family. I mean, clearly, someone needs to think about us, because my father certainly hadn't...

"I'm...happy...for... you," she started, hesitantly. "When does the position start?"

"Next month"

Her eyes widened.

"What were you planning for us?" she asked.

"I know it's far, and it's a long period of time. I was hoping you and Rai could relocate with me. But I know that might be too much, given that you have your career here, and Rai is at school. I don't want to ask you to sacrifice that. So, if you don't relocate, I'll fly back and forth during the year. Eventually, I plan to be back in Japan anyway, as the Japanese Football Association intends to increase their international experience over the next few years, and they'll need people like me at the helm."

I practically choked on my food. Was I hearing this correctly? He's scarcely been around the last couple of years. Now he wants to be based in Germany. He's selfishly thought only about his own career, and now, he pretends he's sensitive by giving her a choice, because he doesn't want her to make "sacrifices" for him. What does he call these last couple of years? This isn't sacrifice enough? We're supposed to thank you for being considerate in offering us two unworkable options?

No one noticed my gagging. My father went on, "I will need to leave in a few weeks to prepare things there. I've been able to arrange for one of the German youth teams to accept one our top goalkeepers. So I'll need to deal with that too."

I felt my stomach drop to the floor. Did I hear him right? I looked up at him now.

"Who? Which goalkeeper?" I choked.

"Genzo Wakabayashi."

I swallowed hard.

"When will he go?" I asked weakly.

My father gave me a confused look. I'm sure he's wondering why I care about that detail, when we're discussing other, seemingly more relevant matters. Of course, he doesn't understand that his own departure announcement does not surprise me... his little prodigy's though...that one hurts. It really...hurts.

My father shrugs and says, "In a couple months."

He continues discussing matters with Mom, but now, I can no longer hear them.

At some point, I must have wandered from the kitchen, because now I'm in my room, within the safety of my four walls. I can hear that the conversation in the kitchen has escalated, and my Mom is shouting.

I can't sort out how I feel. I know this is a jump start to Wakabayashi's career. We've discussed this so many times before. This is what he hopes would eventually happen. But "eventually" seemed so much farther away back then. A couple of months? Then he'll be gone. Once he leaves Japan, he'll be gone forever. I'm still reeling over Misaki-kun's announcement, and now, Wakabayashi-kun, you will abandon me too.

Tears begin to swell and I let them flow down my face. It doesn't matter. I'm alone in my room anyway.

This is a great step for him. Who am I? I'm just a friend. People relocate all the time and leave friends behind. We just become fond memories. Who am I to prevent him from going? He's so talented. He deserves this. He'll be a professional soccer player. There's no doubt in my mind.

I'm his friend, right? I should be happy for him, right?

But I can't make myself feel happy. I just can't. I'm angry at him. He's going to abandon me...after I thought he was different...I just feel...so...hurt...

I hear the bang of the front door slamming, and the rev of an engine. I look out the window in time to catch my mom drive away. It isn't hard to guess what is going on. My anger turns back to my father... what kind of a husband is he? How can you treat your wife like that? I hear his footseps starting down the hall, toward my room. I quickly walk to my bedroom door, and slam it shut. You idiot. You think you can just make decisions like this, and expect us to accept you? I don't think so.

I hear his footsteps slow, pause, and then turn back toward the kitchen.

It's early afternoon, and the sun has hidden itself behind the looming clouds. There, even the weather hates you. You think you can be away all the time, and your family will still be around to thank you? Now you think you can just permanently leave? Like that's not enough, you have to take away my...my...

I'm so angry, I don't know what to do about it.

Then, suddenly, it occurs to me...Wakabayashi. How long have you known about this? My father's been back and forth from Germany for some time now. Probably negotiating deals. What have you been hiding from me? You're just as bad as he is! Wow. I'm really stupid. He's your coach. Why should it surprise me that you both think the same way? Has he taught you more than just soccer? How dare you? You got me to open up to you...only so you could...hurt me. I want you to tell me to my face what you're up to.

Quietly, I open my window, and climb out. I reach my hand through the opening to wind the window back as much as I can, without crushing my arm. I don't want my father to know I've gone out. In fact, I don't want him to know anything about me. That would serve him right. I step quietly past the side of my house and slip out the front gate.

All the way to Wakabayashi's house, I am torn between thoughts about him leaving, and the memories of all the times when I've felt so comfortable with him - the times we've been open about each other's thoughts, dreams, and plans. I am at once angry, sad, and disappointed.

When I reach his front gate, I cannot bring myself to ring the bell.

I don't know what I would say to him. I want to know ...what? Whether he's been lying to me? Whether's he's known about Germany? Even if he did, it's his right to go. It's what he's always wanted. Shouldn't I be happy for him? It would be selfish of me to say anything otherwise. Why should it matter to me whether he knew about it or not? But it does. I need to know if he's kept it from me. I don't know why. Maybe I'm being unreasonable...Just like it's so unreasonable that I could have a father that cares so little about his own wife and daughter...

It's starting to rain. Just as well. I can't stop the tears that have started to flow again. A car turns the corner and flies up the driveway and into the garage. I wonder who it is. If they saw me, they'll probably say something about me standing here, at the front of their house. I lean against the gate debating with myself about whether to ring the doorbell, or run back home.


	26. Chapter 26 - Soaked

**Author's note:** Sorry. I have been busy this week. I only have one chapter to post.

 *****Chapter 26 - Soaked *****

Coach Mikami dropped by last night on his way back home from the airport. He sat down and spoke to my parents and I about an opportunity to join a youth team in Germany. This is the best way to get into Germany's bundesliga as a professional soccer player. All the professional teams choose from these elite youth teams. He's been hired into the German Football Association's administrative management organization, and he's been able to cut a deal to let a top Japanese youth goalkeeper train in one of Germany's top youth clubs. He thinks that I'm the one most suited to go.

This is what I've been waiting for - my jump into European soccer. I feel like this is a giant leap towards my dream.

Yet as wonderful as this news is, I can't seem to feel happy. She's the first one I want to talk to about this, but at the same time, I feel a sense of trepidation. I will leave Japan, just when we've become so close. I've never had a close friend before, let alone someone like Rai. We're still young, but I am certain we're more than just close friends, even if she doesn't know it yet. I don't know how she'll take this. She resents her father's absence. Will she resent me now? I can't bear the thought of her hating me.

I agreed to go. Of course I did. But after Coach left, I spent the rest of the night and all of today thinking about Rai. I should be thinking about this great opportunity, but instead, I'm thinking about her. It never occurred to me, in all our conversations about me becoming a soccer player, that I would hurt her in the process. Now, I realize how blind I was. But then, even if I did, what would I have done? Would I really have stayed away from her?

"Genzo!" I hear my big brother call from downstairs. "I think I saw your little friend at the gate just now. She's about to be soaked if you don't open the door for her."

Rai? I look out the front window, and see a shadow at the front gate. It's starting to really pour out there. I didn't hear the doorbell. Is there something wrong with it? I grab a large umbrella and run out the door.

"Rai!" I call, as I run out down the front walkway. I can see now that she's slumped against the gate, and is soaking wet.

"Rai! Did you ring the bell? I didn't hear anything. You're soaked! Come in!" I say, as I reach her.

I take her arm and spin her around. My heart sinks when I see her face. She's been crying. She knows. She doesn't have to say a word. I can see it in her eyes - the disappointment, the frustration...the...hurt.

I've hurt her. I start to pull her toward me, but she breaks loose and steps back from me. Her expression changes suddenly, and I see what I've been dreading all day - the hate. For some reason, my stomach begins to hurt, and I feel like I've been punched. All I can do is cough up the words, "Rai...please...let's talk..."

She's just beyond my umbrella, and her hair, her clothes are all soaking wet. The rain is pouring down from my umbrella, just as it pours down her face. I want to hold on to her. I don't want her to run. I just want to tell her everything will be ok, but it kills me because I can't. I'm desperate now, "Rai...please..."

"How long have you known?" she asks accusingly.

"...Just yesterday night. Coach Mikami came by to ask me if I would go to Germany with him..."

"Did you say yes?"

"Rai, what would you do?"

She falls silent for a moment. I inch closer to her, sheltering her under my umbrella.

"When do you leave?"

"In about two months, just before the team starts the training season."

"...two months..." she says, more to herself, than to me.

I take a large step toward her and put my arm around her. She doesn't move.

"In two months then. You will leave me too," she murmurs.

"No. No. Rai. I am not leaving you."

Now I have no idea what I'm saying. All I know is that I don't want to leave her. Even if I'm going to Germany, I'm not leaving her. I have no idea what that means though. She looks up at me, not understanding either.

"You're going to Germany. You will not be here. You are leaving," she says definitively.

"Yes. I'm going to Germany. That's how I'm going to be a professional soccer player. Getting international experience is part of the plan. I know it's happening earlier than I expected, but here it is, and I have to do it. But Rai, I'm not letting you go. Give me some time, Rai. Let me think about this. I know I still want you in my life. Maybe it's not exactly what we've had these past months, but..." I was starting to flounder.

Damn it, Rai. Give me some time to think. I feel her body sink a little under my arm, like she's given up. No. No. Rai, don't give up on me. I feel her heave a sigh.

"Congratulations, Wakabayashi-kun," she says softly.

I drop the umbrella so I can grab her shoulders with both my hands, forcing her to face me directly.

"Rai. Do not give up on me. I've never had any close friends before. I thought I could do things myself. You showed me how much better I could be with someone...someone whom I could share myself with. You are ...You are...the only real friend I've ever had. You're my best friend...and...and even more than that. We will find a way around this. Give us some time. Let me think about it..."

She didn't look convinced. Her eyes told me she didn't want to talk about it anymore.

"I should go back," she said, as she started to extract herself from my hold.

I knew I couldn't do or say anything to change things right now, so I had no choice. I let go of her, and picked up the umbrella again. We were both soaked.

I walked her back to her house. She said nothing more to me, and I spent the entire time trying to find something useful to say. When we arrived, she walked up to her front door, and fumbled for her keys. She could hardly hold them up. I took them gently from her, and opened the door. Hearing the sound, her parents rushed to the door. Coach Mikami was shocked to see me.

"Genzo? What are you doing with Rai?" he asked.

"Rai, where have you been? We've been so worried!" her mom cried.

Rai walked over to her father and said, "Get out! You want to go to Germany that much? You can go. It makes no difference to me. But don't think you can come here and tell Mom that you're so considerate and thoughtful that you'll give her a choice. Your choices mean nothing."

Her words were aimed at her father, but I felt every word pierce my heart. I looked over just in time to see her body sway as her legs gave out from under her. I grabbed her before she fell to the ground.

"Rai!" I called, as I shook her. She had fainted.


	27. Chapter 27 - Please Don't Give Up On Me

***Chapter 27 - Please Don't Give Up On Me ***

We got Rai into her room, and while her mother got her into dry clothes and a warm bed, I was given a towel and then interrogated by Coach Mikami in their kitchen.

"Why were you with her?"

"She came to see me. She was clearly upset," I said. I knew I had to tread lightly. I was now between the Coach that had helped me so much in improving my soccer skills, and Rai, for whom I'd rather die, than betray.

"She went to see you? How do you know her?"

"Well, Coach, she is a classmate of Tsubasa and Misaki from my team. She frequently watches the practices. So, we've...seen each other a lot. She's so interested in soccer and she's got great ideas. You must know that she's got a mind for soccer strategy. She's been a sort of...well...advisor for the team. We got to know each other over the year, and we're...we're...good friends," I tried to say as matter-of-factly as I could. I hoped my face wouldn't say anything more than that.

He continued his questioning, "What did she say to you?"

This is a hard one. Do I tell him that she was upset that I was going to Germany? Or that he was going to Germany?

"Well, she seemed upset about things at home. You travel a lot, and now you're going to be based in Germany. We didn't get a chance to say too much, since it was raining so hard. I thought it would be best to get her home first," I decided to avoid the question...

Coach stared at me for what seemed like ages. I tried to hold my expressionless face in place. I could feel his eyes searching me for answers. Finally, I tried to break his concentration.

"Coach, when will you be leaving for Germany?"

Coach looked at me for a few moments more, and then answered, "In a month. I'll contact your parents again when I have the details of your residency, schooling, and training program."

"Thanks, Coach. I know this is a great opportunity that you've found for me," I said. This time, with sincere appreciation.

Coach was silent again. I couldn't read his face. I had no idea what he was thinking. It's funny, if I didn't know it, I would never have guessed he and Rai were related. With Rai, I can read her eyes easily, unless she chooses to block me out. Since that day in the field, when she shot on me, she's never kept me out. With Coach though, I've never been able to figure out what he's thinking, until he tells me...usually with as few words as possible. He frequently appears to be deep in thought, but he doesn't tell me anything, unless I need to know it.

"I'd better drive you back. I'm sure your family is wondering where you are," Coach announced.

Then, after a brief period of staring at the wall, he said to me, "She clearly trusts you. She wouldn't have gone to you, if she didn't. You will not break that trust. You will not lie to her, even if things get difficult."

His eyes looked at me, commanding me to look back at him. I understood his concern, and looked directly into his face, and said, "I have never lied to her, and I have no intention of ever loosing her trust." ...or her friendship...or her...

I let Coach drive me back home. I couldn't sleep that night. I just lay there, thinking about what had happened, worried about Rai. Is she even conscious? I wish we had more time. I wish we could always spend our afternoons together, as we have for so many months. What can I do? I've always believed in taking matters into my own hands. It's worked in school, soccer, and even with Rai. Why does she think there was a soccer ball in the field the first time I asked her to shoot on me? But now, what can I do? I have to figure this out, or both of us will be beaten.

The next morning, I walked to Rai's house. I didn't want to call Coach to ask about Rai, because I didn't want to risk being interrogated by him again. I hoped that I could tell if he was home by going there and looking around. Unfortunately, it was hard to tell. Someone was home, because their car was in the driveway. I stood there, trying to decide whether to wait, or relieve the worry that was tormenting me once and for all, by ringing the doorbell. I heard a sound at the front door, and jumped behind their neighbor's fence. I heard the front door close, and the car door open and shut. The footsteps had been heavy. I hoped it was Coach. As the car drove past, I saw Coach at the wheel. I hoped he hadn't looked into his neighbour's yard, where I now stood.

I waited a few moments for Coach to drive away, or, perhaps it was just for my pounding heart to calm down. It must be just Rai and her mom inside now. I've already been questioned by Coach. I wondered if her mom would do the same. I'll just have to deal with it if it happens. I have to see Rai.

I walked up the steps and rang the doorbell. Mrs. Mikami answered the door. She looked at me, uncertain of who I was, then, a look of recognition crossed her face. She smiled, and greeted me with,

"You are Genzo, right? We didn't have much of a chance to meet yesterday night. I'm sorry you had to bring Rai back in the pouring rain. Thank you so much."

I liked her immediately.

"It was nothing. Rai and I are friends, Mrs. Mikami. I...I was wondering how she's doing?" I asked.

"Oh, of course. I can see you're very concerned. I guess...I guess we all are," she said, her voice trailing off as she thought about last night. Then she continued,

"She's running a high fever. Probably from standing in the rain last night, combined with...all the...well...all the things that have happened here. She woke shortly after you left, but she's been groggy because of her fever. She's sleeping now."

She smiled a little, like she was trying to be polite through her worry.

"Come in, please. Sit for a while. Maybe she'll wake up soon," she invited.

I went in, and she took me into her kitchen. I hoped this time, the kitchen would be more inviting. She offered me tea, and sat down with me. She didn't ask me anything. I didn't know if it was because she already knew what I had said to Coach, or if she sensed that I didn't want to be questioned. She didn't make things awkward though. In fact, it was quite the opposite. We sat in relative silence, with the sun shining into the kitchen, but neither of us happy. It was like the concern we shared for Rai made us comfortable with each other. I looked around the room for signs of Rai's life. There were a few photos with Rai and her mom. They were either funny, or tender in nature. I could see that they were very close. There was one photo with her dad and her mom. It looked like it had been taken a long time ago, probably before Rai was even born.

After a while, I asked Mrs. Mikami, "Is it ok if I go in and see Rai? I know she's sleeping. I won't disturb her. I just...I think I'd feel better, if I could just ...see her."

I wasn't sure if she would let me. It might seem strange... but I really just want to see Rai. She looked at me. I could tell she was trying to decide. I looked back at her, with all the concern for Rai that I felt. Finally, she nodded.

Now, I step as quietly as I can down the hall. Rai's door is open, so it is easy to see which room is hers. I stand at her doorway. She is asleep in her bed. She looks so peaceful, very much different from the desperate, rain-soaked girl at my front gate yesterday. Instinctively, I look back down the hall to see if Mrs. Mikami is there. No. She is still in the kitchen. I begin to hear running water, and dishes being moved around as Mrs. Mikami starts to wash them. I step into Rai's room, and tip toe to the side of her bed. Does she still have a fever? I move my shaking hand and place it lightly on her forehead. It's still hot to the touch. I kneel down next to her bed and put my hand on top of hers.

"I'm sorry Rai. We'll be ok, I promise. Please don't give up on me," I whisper.

The sound of running water stops, as Mrs. Mikami turns off the tap. I stand up again and quickly move back to the doorway. After a few minutes, Mrs. Mikami stands next to me, and we both look at Rai. She sighs and pats my shoulder. In part to comfort me, and in part, I think, to tell me to go. I turn to leave, and she follows.

"Rai...doesn't have many close friends. I'm happy that you came. It's a relief to know that she has a good friend in you. She'll be ok. It's just a fever. It will pass," Mrs. Mikami says as we reach the front hall.

The fever will pass, of course. But that's not even part of the problem.

"You know, Germany is a nice place. I'm sure Rai would like to visit it. She's getting older now. She should see other places. With your family here, I'm sure you'll be back when your training permits. So, perhaps there are a few opportunities in the year to see each other," she offers, hopefully.

It's funny, how the same thing can be interpreted completely differently. I know we'll have a few opportunities to see each other. That's the problem. It's just a few. I nod politely, but I can't hide the fact that I'm not convinced.

Mrs. Mikami gives me an understanding smile, and says, "I'll have Rai call you, when she's up."

I nod slowly once more. But yet again, I am unconvinced. If Rai can't see a way through this, I doubt she'll call.

I leave Rai's house, and walk slowly back home.


	28. Chapter 28 - Thanks Mom

*****Chapter 28 - Thanks Mom *****

The house is quiet, and though it is dark around my bed, I can see a faint glow of light around the edges of my closed window blinds. It must either be early in the morning, or the evening. I raise my head slightly to look at my clock. My head spins a bit. It's 8:00pm. The summer sun is setting.

I feel like I've been in and out of consciousness. I stop to think about the bits and pieces that I remember, and try to sort out what was real, and what was not. I know that I saw Wakabayashi in the afternoon...yesterday? the day before? How long have I been in bed? I know I was half-crazed, and soaked, and he took me home.

Oh no. I remember creating a scene at home because I was so furious at my father. Was Wakabayashi there? I think he was. Then ...then...that's when things start to get confusing for me. Did I really kick my father out of the house? Germany...ok...clearly, I've never been to Germany, so any thoughts of me in Germany must have been a dream. Wakabayashi hasn't left for Germany...so any thoughts of him there must have been a dream too. How about his voice? I remember hearing him say, "We'll be ok, I promise. Please don't give up on me." That must have been a dream too. Although I wish he really had said it.

I'm sorry, Wakabayashi-kun. I know how much going to Germany must mean to you. I wish I could be more supportive.

I get out of bed slowly, and make my way to the kitchen. Mom is there, reading at the table. She looks up and smiles. I see the relief in her eyes.

"Rai, sit down. Do you feel better? Let me see if you still have a fever," she says, as she comes over to touch my forehead, "Good. Just a little warm. Maybe a low grade temperature. Hopefully you'll be better soon. I've made some soup for you. Try having some. You've been asleep for a whole day."

I sit down at the table. Judging by the fact that Mom was sitting here alone, reading, must mean that my father is not in the house. Good. I don't want to see him. My mom places a soup bowl in front of me and sits down again, watching me expectantly. I take a sip. It's nice and warm. It's comforting. We sit in silence, as I eat.

"You know, the boy that brought you home, Genzo - It looks like he cares a great deal about you," she says.

Uh oh. Is she starting a line of questions?

"He's ...a good friend." I say, not wanting to lie, but not wanting to say too much.

"I can see that. I'm happy you have a friend you feel comfortable with, and trust. He came to see you earlier this morning," she informs me.

Now she has my full attention. Wakabayashi was here?

"What did he do here? I was asleep," I ask.

"He sat in the kitchen and waited for a while. Then he went to check on you. He went home after that," she reports.

He was here. He cared enough to come. He wasn't scared away by the mad-woman in the rain storm...

"Rai, do you want to call him to tell him you're ok? I think he's very worried," she asks.

Yes. I mean, no. I mean...I want to hear his voice, and see him, but I ...I wouldn't know what to say. I don't want to break down in tears again. Not in front of him. He deserves someone who is supportive, not a friend that's depressed.

I don't know how to answer my mom, so I just shake my head.

"You know, Rai, it's ok to miss someone. I can see that he thinks the world of you. If you feel the same way about him, perhaps you could try to see things a little differently, for him. I know you must be hurting. You don't want him to go, but the more you fight against something that you can't change, the more it's going to hurt you, and...hurt him. I don't think you intend to hurt him. He is going to leave for Germany soon. If you can accept that, then maybe you should try to think of everything you can do to keep in each other's lives. You can make the remaining time here really count."

Her words were like a revelation. I know I have to accept that he's going to Germany. This is his chance. I wouldn't keep him here, even if I could. So, I have to make the next weeks count. I can't waste time feeling bad for myself. I'll only make him sad.

I should've known my mom would talk some sense into me. Thank you.

I have no words to express my gratitude. Choked up, I can only nod to show that I understood her. I can feel tears starting to swell again. This time, I don't feel anger, or disappointment, or frustration. I simply feel like I miss him. He isn't even gone yet, and I miss him.

I start to cry again. This time, from relief. Relief that my mom had given me a way to handle all this. A way that I could try to keep our friendship alive. My mom puts her arms around me, and I let the tears roll down my face once more, vowing that I will not let him see me cry about this again.

Wakabayashi has always been strong. I can be strong too. Strong enough for both of us.


	29. Chapter 29 - What Can We Do?

*****Chapter 29 - What Can We Do? *****

I've been thinking about how I can stay close to Rai, while still being in Germany. I know it will be nothing like the time we've spent together this past year. I love having her next to me. Her just being there makes me feel like I can face anything - good or bad.

I admit that I've always been a bit proud. I want to be challenged so that I can improve myself, and then show the world that I really am the best. With Rai though, I want her to know my strengths as well as my weaknessess. I don't want to hide anything from her, because the only thing worse than losing her friendship, is to have her think she's friends with a version of myself that is not truly me.

I know I'll have to accept that being away means I can't be as close to her as I want. We've shared our ideas, feelings...dreams. We've spent so much time together. There must be another way to do this.

Mrs. Mikami called last night to tell me that Rai was ok, and that I shouldn't worry. Rai didn't call herself. I suspect that means she doesn't know what to say to me. Rai...you should know by now it doesn't matter. You don't have to say anything. Although...I guess that would be difficult over the phone.

I've thought all night about how we can continue sharing our lives while we're apart. I have a couple of ideas, but I'll need to do a little shopping this morning. Then I'll go see Rai.


	30. Chapter 30 - One Year at a Time

*****Chapter 30 - One Year at a Time*****

Even though I've been practically comatose for the last day and a half, I was still able to sleep last night. I think I'm over the fever though. I feel better this morning. Well, my body does, anyway. Now I need to deal with what's going on around me.

I go into the kitchen. My mom is there.

"Hi Mom. Why aren't you at work today?" I ask in my still groggy voice.

"I thought I'd take a day off... I wanted some quiet time to think about things, ...and you're not feeling well. I want to make sure you're ok."

"I'm ok, Mom."

"I know you're strong. Sometimes too strong," she sighed.

I get breakfast for myself and sit down.

"So...what's going to happen to us?" I venture to ask.

She sighs heavily. I can tell she's having a difficult time, but she smiles at me anyway. I know my mom will always make things better for me, even when she is quietly suffering herself. It makes me that much angrier at my father.

"Your father and I have decided to take it a year at a time. We want you to continue studying here. You are doing so well in school, and I still have my job here. Your father will be based in Germany, but will continue to fly back and forth to see us. He plans to come back to Japan permanently after Germany, he just doesn't know exactly how long he'll be in Germany. So, we'll see how it goes this year."

I must not have looked convinced, because she continued,

"I know it's not ideal. I know you think it's never been ideal. Despite what you think you see, your father does care a lot about you – about us. He's so proud of you. He was proud of you when you played soccer, and even now that you don't, he's proud of your strength and your intelligence. He's never been one to show his emotions...and you haven't learned to understand him. I mean, how could you learn, since he's been away so much these few years? I can understand why you feel the way you do.

He's doing what he's always wanted to do, and he can't give up the chance. But he knows the price he's paying. He won't say that he'll make it up to you, or ask you to understand, or even to wait. He knows he can't do that. You're too young to know what that means, and it's not fair to you. He knows that the timing is all wrong. But, sometimes, we don't control when things happen to us in our lives. Sometimes, we need to choose to accept what is happening, and decide that we'll make the best of it. If you really love someone, you will find that you can get through it."

I'm not sure I really understand what she's talking about. I think she's trying to tell me that my father knows he's being unfair to us...to me, but he can't stop it...at least not right now. I feel like I should get angry, but either I'm still too exhausted, or its the tone in her voice that tells me she's being completely honest with me, and in truth, she knows my father the best, so maybe what she's saying is right.

Maybe my father does know that I feel abandoned. Maybe he even feels bad about it. Maybe he doesn't know what to say to me, because he doesn't have any answers that would make me happy. Assuming this is all true, I can see that he might feel tormented.

But I find it so hard to understand his decisions. Can I really accept them?


	31. Chapter 31 - We'll Be Ok

Author's Note: The timeline for this story has been based on the first third of "Road to 2002." That means that when Tsubasa and his friends are in elementary school/junior high, it is the early to mid-1990s, a time when cellphones and email were still scarce. You must remember this as you read this chapter. Otherwise, you will ask yourself, "Wouldn't social media, instant messaging, video chat and email be so much easier?"

 *****Chapter 31 – We'll Be Ok*****

Later that morning, I got dressed, threw open my curtains and opened my window. My room felt stale from the couple days of me being sick. I needed to start fresh. I wanted things to go back to...normal, except that I didn't know what that was anymore.

As a warm summer breeze floated through my room, I thought about how to face Wakabayashi. He's getting a chance of a lifetime. Does he know the price he's paying? Then again, it's not like I'm his wife or daughter. The price isn't so high.

I will miss him. I have grown so accustomed to him being around me. But beyond the companionship, what is it that I will really miss? His strength, his re-assurance, his knowledge of, and belief in me, that even I don't see. Can we still be good friends if he's in Germany?

The doorbell rings.

"Rai, Genzo is here," calls my mom, from the front door.

A few minutes later, I walk into the sitting room and find Wakabayashi alone, flipping through my sketchbook, which I had left on the table.

"See anything you like?" I ask. I have given up chiding him for doing things without asking. I have already learned that I can't stop him from doing what he wants.

He looks over at me, and I can see his concern for me give way to a big grin, as he sees that I'm obviously ok. I look at his big smile, and realize that it is something I will soon miss. It occurs to me that I should make a list of all the things about him that I need to remember. Things I must hold on to in my memory.

"Rai? Why are you staring at me?" he asks.

I blink, and look away from him, to recompose myself.

"Nothing. What's in your bag? Are you going somewhere?" I ask, seeing that he has his backpack with him.

"Well, I was hoping that you were well enough to take a walk with me. But if you don't feel well enough, that's ok too. I'd be happy to keep you company here."

"I'm ok. Let's go out. I need some fresh air..."

"Good. I was hoping you would. I've even packed you a lunch. This time, I really made you a sandwich. Bring a sweater, I don't want you to get cold."

"It's summer. It's really warm outside."

"Well, you're still sick..."

"Were you always like this? You sound like my mom."

"Only because you seem to like doing irrational things...like running around outside in the pouring rain..."

Point taken. I go to my room to get a sweater.

"Don't go out for too long. You're not fully recovered. Take it easy," my mom calls to me as we walk out the door.

"Don't worry, Mrs. Mikami. I'll bring her back soon. Just going out for some fresh air," Wakabayashi answers for me.

We walk down the street, as we have so many times in the past. Only this time, I try to commit the sounds and sights around me to memory. I want to remember what it's like to walk down this street with him. We come up to the soccer field, and he goes over to the bleachers, where we always sit for our "post-practice analysis." Today though, there was no soccer practice, and the field is quiet, except for the chirping of birds and the leaves rustling in the slight breeze.

"Rai, I've been thinking about how we can stay in each other's lives, even when I'm away in Germany..." he starts.

I know that we have to find a way too. But hearing him say "Germany" again makes my head spin.

"I know we don't have a lot of time, so I don't want to waste it. I've thought about what I want to do with you, before I go to Germany. I started thinking about what we could do that was truly memorable...extraordinary. But then I realized, I just want to do what we always do, together. That means, I want to continue going to soccer practice with you, as we always have. I want you to be a part of my daily life, and I want you to show me what you always do. You already know what I do most of the time, since you've spent a lot of time at my place when I was injured. But I don't know what you do..."

"I sit in my room and study. Other than going to your soccer practices, I help out around the house...dinner, dishes, the garden... I draw sometimes. I think you'd be very bored..." I interrupt him.

"No. That's the point. I don't think I will be. I want to know what you do, Rai, because I want to know everything about you. There's nothing specific I want to do with you, because it doesn't matter what we do, or where we go, as long as I am with you," he continues.

"I'm not trying to remember the things around us. Photos can do that for me. What I want is to remember the feeling I have when I'm with you," he says, thoughtfully.

He's right. When he's gone, I will lose the comforting, re-assuring feeling I get when we talk, the excitement I feel when he plays soccer, the laughter when we joke, the...the...I don't even know how to describe some of the feelings I get when I'm with him. I just know that I want those feelings. I know there will be a huge void when he's gone.

As I look at his face, I can see the conviction in his eyes. I can feel that he isn't going to let us die away.

Tears begin to swell again, and I look at the ground, trying to fight them off. I promised myself I wouldn't cry in front of him again. Especially not now, since he's trying so hard to ensure that we'll still be good friends when he's away.

He opens his bag and takes out two identical books. They have leather covers with an elegant but simple design imprinted. I open one, and inside I discover that it's actually a ringed binder. There is a stack of stationary included, with a small posy of yellow flowers on the bottom right corner of each page. He opens the other one. The stationary is the same, except the flowers on the bottom are a pale blue.

"I don't think you keep a diary. So, think of this as writing a diary. But really, you'll be writing to me. Actually, no. Think of it as...talking to me. Write each day. I don't care if you tell me that you picked carrots out of your garden, or that you hated today's lunch at school... I just want you to tell me whatever it is you want. We're going to have to get used to writing what we're thinking. I know mailing our conversations will be rather slow and tedious, but we have to do this. You'll be yellow...and I'll be blue," he instructs.

"Oh. I hope you don't mind. I also bought you a camera. I want you to take photos...photos of you...maybe your friends...like Tsubasa and the team? School? Soccer practice? Vacation? Anything. Send some to me. Although, after thinking some more about it, I think you might prefer to draw, and that's even better. You draw so well, Rai. You asked me if I saw anything I liked in your sketchbook. Well, I like the things you draw out of your everyday life the most, like the soccer ball you drew on the field before practice, or the sketch you made of my garden when you were visiting," he tells me.

I find myself holding the leather binder and the camera. I am overwhelmed by his ideas. He has clearly thought a lot about this in the last two days. I'm not sure I can suddenly turn myself into a writer and a photographer, but I admit that he's got all the bases covered.

"I guess I should go make friends at the post-office, as it appears that I'll be sending large packages frequently. Aren't you afraid I'll send you so much stuff to read that you won't have time to practice?"

"I guarantee you that whatever you send won't be enough," he grins.

That's true. I think to myself. Whatever it is that he'll send to me won't be much of a substitute for the real him...

"Rai, we'll be ok," he says softly, noticing that I'm pensive again.

That night, in my room, I look at the leather binder and camera that I've been given.

"You have a camera?" my mom asks as she passes my door.

"Wakabayashi-kun says I should take photos and send them to him, when he's away," I answer.

"He certainly wants to make sure he knows what's happening to you," she observes.

I snap a shot of my bedroom. I don't even bother to clean it up. He already knows that I'm a bit of a slob.

"Why don't I take a picture of you at your desk?" my mom offers.

Good idea. He can see what I look like when I'm writing to him. I open the leather binder and turn to a page.

"Rai, how do you feel when you're with Genzo?" my mom asks.

I try to think of how to sum up the feelings. I can't. But almost every one of the feelings makes me smile.

snap My mom takes a picture.

"Mom, what are you doing? I wasn't looking at the camera," I object.

"Rai, the smile you had just now already shows how you feel about him. I think he'd want to know that," she says, as she puts the camera back on my desk.

Later, alone at my desk, I carefully list all the things about him that I want to commit to memory. The smile he has when he sees me. There's another smile he has when he's being playful. His look of concern. The way he fixes his cap. That "clean" smell he has. The excitement in his eyes when talks about being a professional soccer player. The way he laughs. The determination in his eyes as he watches his opponents on the field. The way his voice softens when he talks to me. The way he... The list grows longer and longer, and my heart begins to ache unbearably, but I continue.

I don't want to forget anything.


	32. Chapter 32 - You Can't Tell Her That

*****Chapter 32 - You Can't Tell Her That *****

Rai and I have been inseparable for the last few weeks. The final weeks of summer. She's helped me prepare for Germany. We've studied my new soccer club and school descriptions, filled in my enrolment forms, bought clothes and necessities, and packed. My parents even hired a private German tutor so I can get a head start in learning the language. I made Rai sit with me. It turns out Rai learns languages faster that I can. She insists that I pay more attention because language is so vital to fitting in. I can't help it if I am distracted by her. I've always done well enough at school, but if we were ever in the same class, I probably would have failed. But no. On second thought, Rai would never let that happen.

Although I bought a camera for her to take photos while I'm away, we've made good use of it already. I have photos of Rai pretty much everywhere she usually goes. We took pictures of the team too, which made for some crazy photos that I'm sure we'll laugh over in the future.

Tsubasa took a lot of photos of Rai and I. I thought I'd want these the most. But, only a couple of them turned out well. I see the problem now. We don't look natural because we know a photo is being taken. None of the feeling I have when I'm with her come across in them. It's great for documenting where we were and what we're doing, but the photo itself lacks feeling. Aaurgh! What am I going to do when I'm in Germany? I am going to miss her so much!

"Stop looking so down, Genzo. Don't forget you're on your way to realizing your dream. This is what you've been working for. If you want her to be a part of your future too, then you have to work for that...same way as you've worked to get your chance at soccer. If you're just going to be depressed all the time, nothing is going to happen, except pain."

I look up from the sofa which I had collapsed in after coming home from Rai's house. My brother is standing at the doorway looking at me.

"I'm not...depressed. Just...thinking about things..." I say, letting my irritation at him show in my voice.

"Come on. Like I don't notice how you're all big and strong when she's around, and then when she's not, you mope around the house, like your cat died," he insists.

"Since when did I have a cat?"

"Since it died."

I sigh.

"I miss her now, and I haven't even left yet. What do you think will happen to me when I'm in Germany? I want to tell her how I feel about her... I...I... Why am I telling you?" I stop myself.

"Because I'm the only one here. And you clearly are no longer capable of reason."

That's true. Germany is the best and worst thing that's ever happened to me. How can I want and dread something so much at the same time? I feel like I'm being torn apart from the inside. When I see Rai now, knowing that I have to leave in a couple of weeks, everything we do has so much significance...

"...I love her..."

...Did I just say that out loud?

"Yeah? You're a bit young to be saying that, don't you think?" my brother replies. Though his voice has a dismissive tone, his face tells me that he knows I am serious.

"...ok. We're young. I know it sounds...well... immature. Silly? But I know how I feel. I've always known what I want."

Now, it's my brother's turn to sigh. I can tell he's ready to talk seriously with me.

"I know. I was afraid of that. For the last couple of years, you've matured well beyond your age. Look, I believe you when you say you love her. I suspected as much just by the way you look at her. But you are so young. She's so young. Do you think she feels the same way?" he asks.

"No. I'm sure she doesn't. There have been so many times when I've wanted to tell her how I feel, but I've held back, because it might scare her. Until she realizes she loves me, I can't say anything. I know she feels it. She just doesn't know what it is. I keep waiting for her to realize it. But now, time is running out. I have to leave soon. How can I leave without her knowing what she feels for me? This is not something I can tell her. She needs to see it herself."

"That's good. At least you can see that love isn't exactly something you can force out of her..."

I roll my eyes in exasperation.

He continues, "Otouto, you obviously know that being in Germany is going to be difficult for you two. And...I can see that you've put in a lot of thought and effort into setting things up so you can try to keep your friendship alive while you're apart. Both of you sense that the situation will be difficult, but you'll do what it takes to get through it. So, it will be hard enough keeping a good friendship alive, right? What would it take to keep even more than that?"

I thought through what he was saying. I did not like the conclusion.

"You're telling me not to say anyting to her. I can't tell her how I feel, and I can't push her to realize what I believe she feels for me...because it would be impossible to keep something more than friendship alive," I say, devastated. I collapse back onto the sofa.

"But it will kill me. I don't think I can keep what I feel inside anymore. And I need her to know what she feels. I need to know before I leave, because...because..." I struggle to come up with a valid reason. But I can't think of any reasons beyond satisfying myself that I am right, and proving that I know her even better than she knows herself...and that we...we...should be together. But that last part is not possible now. So, what am I left with?

If I tell her, and she realizes she feels the same way, I will be hurting her even more by leaving. How can I tell her I love her and then leave? She'll hate me. No. The idiot is right. I can't tell her. I have to stop trying to make her see what's buried inside...

"Ok. I won't say anything to her," I say, weakly. I feel sick to my stomach again. The same way Rai made me feel when she looked at me that afternoon, in the pouring rain at my front gate.

"See, Genzo? I said you were mature beyond your years. Your dream is to pursue a career in soccer. That's exactly what you'll do when you go to Germany. Rai would never let you give up that dream. In the meantime, the two of you will build a long term plan to have your paths merge again. You're both so young. This is something that's going to take patience and flexibility. Don't panic about it now. Just take this next step. Then look to see what your options are," my brother reasons.

"That just sounds like a nice way of saying that we don't know what's going to happen," I say.

"And that would be the truth. But if you truly love her, and...after a couple of years...you still feel the same way, you might be in a better position to do something about it."

I consider his words carefully. I know he's right. But my heart keeps yelling,

 _Easy for you to say, Niisan. I really don't know if I can control myself._


	33. Chapter 33 - The Last Night

*****Chapter 33- The Last Night *****

"You have school tomorrow. You should go to bed," I tell her, half-heartedly.

I don't want to leave her. I wish we could sit here forever. Maybe we could be statues here in her garden, or something...

"You really think I could fall asleep?" she asks, doubtfully.

We sit in her backyard, surrounded by darkness. Tomorrow, I leave for Germany.

"I'm going to the airport with you," she murmurs.

"No. We've talked about that. I don't want you there, Rai. I want you to be at school, where you're supposed to be. This is not a goodbye, so no exceptions have to be made," I tell her, as firmly as I can, despite the fact that I would like her to be there... it would give us a few hours more together.

She looks at me with a bit of a pout, and starts to say something, but thinks better of it, and just shrugs.

I feel bad. As much as I know she wants to go to the airport with me, I am afraid. I don't know if I can control myself there in the airport, when the reality of leaving will undoubtably hit me. I am afraid that it will be harder for both of us. If she doesn't see me leave, maybe she won't think of me as gone.

I take her arm and pull her upright.

"Come on. You should go to bed. Don't make me tuck you in," I joke.

She looks up at me suddenly, "Tuck me in."

"Are you trying to dare me? That's not much of a dare. Your mom is going think I'm crazy though," I start.

"So?" she counters.

I look at her. I've only made her more adamant about it.

"You don't want me to go the airport. At least tuck me in tonight," she negotiates.

I smile, knowing she's going to win this one. "Ok. Fine," I give in.

As she gets ready for bed, I wait in her kitchen.

"Oh. You're still here, Genzo. I'll drive you home," says Mrs. Mikami, as she passes the kitchen and sees me.

"Uhm. Rai said I was supposed to tuck her in..." I say, a bit embarrassed.

"Oh. Well then. I'll drive you home afterward," she says, as she walks out of the room.

I am relieved that she doesn't make a big deal out of it.

When Rai is ready, I sit on the floor of her bedroom, next to her bed. She lies close to the edge of her bed so she's close to me. It's dark in her room, except for the light that comes in from her open door.

I am painfully aware that this will be the last time that we're alone together for… possibly a year. I won't be back again until the training season is over. I pray that all the things we've talked about doing to keep us close will work out.

"Rai, Coach Mikami will have a house in Germany, since he'll be based there. Would you...consider visiting?"

"...I don't remember reading that your student residence takes guests," she replies.

I guess it's too much to ask her to stay with her father...

But then she continues, "...so, I guess I don't have a choice, do I? If you promise I don't have to spend too much time alone with him, then yes, I will..."

I smile into the darkness.

"I hope you aren't waiting for a bedtime story," I change topics, not wanting her to reconsider what she just agreed to.

"No. You're going to tell me all about Germany in your letters. And I'm going to read them before I sleep each night. So today, you don't have to say anything. Just stay with me for a while, that way, when I read your letters, I can remember what it feels like when you're next to me," she murmers in the dark.

I can feel my heart swell again. It's in my throat, and that familiar urge to tell her how I feel comes up again. I put my arm on her bed and reach for her hand. Fortunately, she can't see me in the dark, as I struggle against the urge to tell her that I... I...

No. It would make tomorrow even more painful for the both of us.

We stay like that, in the dark, for I don't know how long. Not long enough though. When her hand relaxes, I know she's fallen asleep. I give a last squeeze to embed the feeling of her hand in mine into my memory, then carefully take my arm off her bed, and quietly walk out of her room.


	34. Chapter 34 - I'm Going to the Airport

*****Chapter 34 – I'm Going to the Airport *****

I lie in bed, awake. It's too early to get up. But I can't really sleep anyway. I think back to last night, when Wakabayashi was sitting next to me. I was lucky that my room had been so dark, because I could not stop myself from crying. I had tried to stay as still in bed as possible, not wanting him to know. I promised myself that I would not let him see me sad, at least...not crying.

Despite what he thinks, or what he's told me. I'm going to the airport with him. I know his parents will go to the airport directly from their office, while his brother will drive him there, separately. I have a feeling his brother will not object to me going, especially if I appear at their front gate this morning. I refuse to let him leave without seeing me again...or rather, I just want to spend those last few hours with him.

I get up and get ready. I tell my mom I'm going to the airport with Wakabayashi, and that I'll be back in the afternoon. I need her to tell the school I'll be away today. She looks at me, hestitantly.

"Rai, I thought you guys had agreed that you wouldn't go..."

"Mom. I can't NOT go. Please. You know this is important to me," I say. I'm not asking for permission. I'm simply informing her that I'm going.

She sighs and nods. I make the trek over to his house. When I arrive, I see that his brother's car is still in the driveway. I sit on his front steps, waiting.

After some time, the door opens, and his brother comes out carrying luggage. He almost drops it in surprise.

"Are you trying to be a stowaway?" he whispers.

I nod, playing along.

I open the car trunk for him and he puts the luggage in. From behind the car, I can hear Wakabyashi as he walks down the front steps with the remaining bags.

His brother gives me a wink, and turns back to Wakabayashi.

"Otouto. Stop looking so depressed. You haven't left yet," he calls out.

As Wakabayashi comes to the rear of the car, he sees me, and his face brightens for a second, but immediately turns into a frown.

"Why are you here, Rai?" he demands.

Too late, Wakabayashi. Your face gave you away. I know you want me here.

"I'm going to the airport with you. Don't make me leave, because I'm not going anywhere, except into this car," I give him my best stare.

He looks to his brother for help. So I turn my head toward his brother too, and give him a pleading look.

His brother grins at us in amusement, "I'm just the driver. Whoever is in the car, goes."

I quickly maneuver myself to the far side of the car, so Wakabayashi can't grab me, open the door, and jump in.


	35. Chapter 35 - It's Not Goodbye

*****Chapter 35 – It's Not Goodbye *****

Well. She's here. She's probably planned on coming all along, she just didn't want to argue with me about it. I shake my head at how stupid I was in thinking she'd listen to me. She won't. Not on this, anyway. I was afraid seeing me leave at the airport would be painful for her, but she obviously wants to stay with me for as long as she can. I can't help but smile, because I want her with me too. I put the remaining bags in the car, and get in.

The drive to the airport is quiet. Neither of us know what to say. We've spent the last few weeks talking about everything. Doing everything together. Thinking of everything, that is, everything we can to make sure we can continue our relationship. Well, our friendship, anyway. And now, the day is here, and there's nothing left for us to say. It will be a long time before we will be next to each other again.

When we get to the airport, my parents are there already, waiting for me. I check in, and we sit for a while in the lounge. My mom gives me all her reminders of how I should watch out for myself, and then breaks down in tears. I put my arm around her. I'll be back at the end of the practice year. It's not even a full year, I tell her. I glance at Rai, who is sitting next to my brother. She's staring at the table in front of her. What is she thinking about?

I catch my brother's eye, and tilt my head toward Rai. He understands and starts to talk to her, distracting her from what I'm sure are sad thoughts.

When it is time to pass through the security gate, I hug my mom and dad. My brother comes over and tries to hug me, but I punch him in the chest instead.

"I'm going to be back, so don't get too comfortable," I tell him.

"I'm gonna change the lock on the front door, and use your room as my new games room. I think it would be great to play billiards in there," he retorts.

I roll my eyes and chuckle. He moves to one side so I can go over to Rai, who is now sitting very still, concentrating on the table again. I can tell she's trying hard not to cry.

"Rai..." I take her hands and pull her up from the chair so she's standing in front of me. She won't look at me. Instead, she stares at the floor.

"Rai..." I say softly again, not really knowing how to continue.

In one motion, she wraps her arms around me and buries her head in my chest. I put my arms around her, and rest my head on top of hers. I can smell the scent of her hair. Holding her there, I can feel my heart ache, and a wave of emotion suffocates me.

"Rai...I...I..." I can't help it. I want her to know. I need her to know. My own feelings overwhelm me.

"...I..." How do I stop myself?

I am desperate. I look up momentarily. My brother is standing to my left, in the distance. Seeing him reminds me again that I can't tell her. I must control myself.

I hold her tightly and fight against the urge to tell her. The voice inside me screaming what I feel is deafening. But I refuse to hurt her. Even if it kills me.

"...I...I...will miss you... so much," I finally blurt out. Breathing hard, relieved that I quelched the seemingly uncontrollable desire to tell her how I truly feel.

"Rai, I didn't want you here because I didn't know if I could bear leaving you. I don't want to break down in front of you. You're killing me," I whisper. Well, at least that was the truth.

She pushes herself away so she can look look up at me. Her eyes are wide.

"Wakabayashi-kun. But that's why I'm here. I don't want you to do this alone. I want to be next to you for as long as I can. I want you to know that I'm going to face this with you. You're not leaving me. You're not going to let us end...and neither am I. I want to tell you that... We'll be ok."

My heart melts, as she says this. She's looking at me with...with...love. Rai. It's there. You love me. I know you do. I can see it. I can feel it. When will you realize it?

I can't help myself. I move closer to her. I feel myself falling ever so slowly toward her.

Suddenly, she puts her hands on my shoulders and steadies me.

"Wakabayashi-kun. I'll be with you. Your best friend will be right here," she puts her hand on my chest, over my heart, and smiles.

I don't know whether to laugh or cry. It's so obvious. I want to shake her and tell her what she's feeling. I am at once charmed and exasperated by her naivete.

Finally, I nod, and pull her back to me. Perhaps ignorance, for now, is bliss. At least, it will be easier for her. With my arms around her one final time before I step through the gate, I close my eyes to block everything around us out. I just want to feel her warmth, the tightness of her arms around me.

"Genzo. You should go through the gate," I hear my brother's voice, from somewhere behind me.

A moment longer. Please...

Then, I take a deep breath, reach behind me to take her hands in mine, and step back from her. I wave to my parents and smile, signalling to them that I'm going.

I won't say goodbye though. Because it isn't. With a smile, I take her hand and place it over my heart again.

I love you, Rai. I silently tell her over and over again. And we'll be ok.


	36. Chapter 36 - Remember Me

**Author's Note:** This story is coming to an end. I am posting the last few chapters. I've never really written stories, so this has been a great experience for me personally. It's been fun...but time consuming. Most importantly, I want to thank all of you who have followed along. Who knew there would be people out there who want to read something I've written? : )

 ***** Chapter 36 – Remember Me *****

"Rai-chan, I need you to help me. I want Nankatsu to have a solid chance at the junior high Nationals. But without Wakabayashi-kun and Misaki-kun, the team needs to improve greatly. I was hoping that you'd help me come up with drills and run them with the team," Tsubasa asks after soccer practice.

It's been a week since Wakabayashi left for Germany. I've pretty much forced myself to keep my life the same as it was before...yet, without him, everything seems completely foreign to me now. It feels like a part of me is missing. The world around me is the same, but I'm walking around without my arm, or my leg...

I've spent the nights writing to Wakabayashi, but writing just isn't the same. We both knew that there would be some things that just can't be replaced, no matter how many photos, or letters we send. But knowing about it, and living it, are two different things.

Tsubasa has been a great friend. I'm so happy he's decided to continue at Nankatsu, rather than go to Toho. I don't know what I would have done, if he left too. This past week, we've stuck closer to each other than ever before. For some reason, being with him reminds me of Wakabayashi. Not that Tsubasa is anything like Wakabayashi, but I know the respect and admiration that Wakabayashi and Tsubasa had for each other, and it just feels like Wakabayashi is there, with us, when we're together. For some reason, Tsubasa seems to be a willing partner in all this. He naturally gravitated to me too. I think it's because he misses Misaki, Wakabayashi, and Roberto. Roberto, whom Tsubasa adored and idolized, left recently and very suddenly. I know Tsubasa must really be hurting inside. We hardly talk about it though. We don't have to, because we feel the same pain.

"Well, Rai-chan? Can you help me run the drills?" Tsubasa asks again.

"Me?" I ask back, incredulously.

"Well...yes. Wakabyashi-kun did it when he was captain. I've pretty much followed what he did, since I've been captain, but I need something more. If you help me, that would be great. Oh. I'll need you to do some of the drills too. You know, fill in if anyone's away, and we're short on people for some of the drills..." he continues.

"Tsubasa-kun, you want me to help you run, and do the drills too?" I look at him in surprise.

Tsubasa looks at the ground and starts to push imaginary dirt around with his shoes.

"Tsubasa-kun. What's going on? Why are you asking me this now? And how do you know if I can play soccer well enough to actually do the drills with you guys?" I ask, suspiciously.

"...uhm...well...uhm..." stutters Tsubasa.

"Tsubasa Ozora," I say, firmly.

"...Ok. Ok. Wakabayashi-kun said I should ask you..." he says, giving up.

"Wakabayashi-kun? What did he say to you?" I ask, surprised. Wakabayashi, what are you doing?

Tsubasa blushes, knowing that now he'll have to come clean with me.

"He said that you play really well, and you should practice with us. He said you could run soccer drills with the team. You could really help me, and... it would let you play soccer, even though you don't seem to want to play for any team right now..." he says, clearly uneasy that he's been caught.

I look at him, trying to understand what is going on.

"Rai-chan... he wants you to play. He said you played with Misaki-kun before. Actually, he said that technically, you wouldn't be playing...just practicing. I don't know why he thinks there's a difference, but he said I should tell you that, if you hesitate... oh...darn. There. I've said everything. Even things I shouldn't have..." he looks flustered for a while, but then stares back expectantly.

"I...I...don't know, Tsubasa-kun..." It's been so long since I've really played...

"Come on Rai. Just try it out. Please. Do it to help me. I know you're going to help me, right?" he gives me a wide-eyed, hopeful, pleading smile.

"...And did he tell you that I'd agree if you asked me like this? ...if you pleaded with me to help you?" I ask.

"...yes," Tsubasa admits, after some hesitation.

I sigh and shake my head at their craziness, "Ok then."

How can I argue with someone that is a world away?

Later that afternoon, when I went home, I found a package at my front door. It was addressed to me, but had no return address or postage stamps. It must have been hand delivered. I went into the house and opened it. A small, pretty jewelery box was inside, but there was no note or card to suggest who it was from. I opened the box and found a pendant on a silver necklace. The pendant was in the shape of a circle with little blue and yellow gemstones. As I looked closer, I noticed a tiny hinge on one side. It wasn't a pendant, but a locket. I carefully opened it, and found a picture of Wakabayashi, smiling back at me, on one side.

Right. I should have known. I can't stop him from doing what he wants. He wants me to remember him, and he's thought of a myriad of ways to ensure that I do. Did you ask your brother to leave this at my doorstep?

Well, Wakabayashi, you needn't have gone through all the trouble. I can't help but remember you, I thought to myself, as I fastened the necklace around my neck.


	37. Chapter 37 - Germany Can't Change You

*****Chapter 37 – Germany Can't Change You*****

Three more months have passed, and my father is back to see us. This time, I hang around when he starts to talk about Germany. Although Wakabayashi has described most of the details of his life there, I still want to know more.

"So, I've found a nice house in Hamburg. It's small, but it still has two bedrooms. It's close to work. It's also close to Hamburg's soccer training complex," he says, glancing at me.

I take the bait, and give him my full attention.

After a few minutes of silence, he adds, "I was hoping the two of you would visit. Perhaps at the end of the school year? March isn't the best time to visit Hamburg, but at least it won't interfere with school."

Wakabayashi isn't planning on coming home until his year is over, in July. That seems so far away. March would be closer...

"That would be nice. I think I'd like to see Germany. Rai, don't you think it would be nice?" my mom asks, clearly trying to help my father's case.

I give them a small smile and nod, trying not to appear overly eager, even though the idea is beginning to excite me.

Later that night I sit down at my desk as usual. I've finished all my homework, and its just before bedtime. Writing on the stationary Wakabayashi gave me has become a habit now. At first, I wrote to keep him informed about what's going on in my life, but now, writing to him is like thinking to myself which is probably much closer to what we shared, when he was still here. I can hear his voice, talking to me, responding to the emotions I write on the page. I feel him in my room, when it's dark, as if he were sitting next to my bed. Am I going crazy?

I wonder if he hears my voice in his head, at night, when he's alone. Do I say things to him as he writes his letters to me, the way I can hear him so clearly when I write to him?

I flip through my sketchbook as my mind sorts out what I want to write. I happen to find the cartoon sketch of Wakabayashi I drew. It was the first game of the Nationals, he was injured, and I finally decided to go to his house. Does he remember that day? Does he remember my face as clearly as I remember his? I carefully rip the page out of my sketchbook and write a caption at the bottom of it, " _Do you remember this day?_ " I fold it into the stack of papers that will form my next lengthy letter to him.

I think about my father's offer to visit Germany. It means that I can see Wakabayashi again. Though months have passed, I still feel like he's a vital part of my life. Everything around me is the same as when he was still here, and I am reminded of him wherever I go. But I know that his life has totally changed. He's in a foreign country – new people, new places, new things. I wonder how the memory of me fits into his new life.

He mentioned that he's currently having a hard time adjusting to German soccer. The players are so much better, and training is very strict and demanding. I've felt helpless here, so far away from him. He has to face everything alone now, except maybe for my father. But it's hard to see how a man of so few words could offer any encouragement. I can't remember my father offering much encouragement to me. Does he even know how?

There's a knock at my door.

"Come in," I call, from my desk.

The door opens, and my father comes in. I look at him, waiting for him to say something. He rarely comes into my room. If he does, it's usually something important.

He sits on the edge of my bed, facing me, and starts,

"I've been in Germany for a few months now. It's been the longest time I've been away from home. I just wanted you to know that I do feel the difference. Being away this long, not seeing you or your mother, it can be...a bit...lonely.

Your mom has always been very supportive of me and my soccer career. Despite what you may think, I am very aware of it... and I want you to know that I don't take it for granted. But, sometimes, we don't control when things happen to us in our lives. Sometimes, we need to choose to accept what is happening, and decide that we'll make the best of it."

He says all this, very slowly. Like he's having trouble finding the right words. But those last two sentences, I've heard before from Mom.

"...if you really love someone, you will find that you can get through it," I finish the thought off for him.

He looks at me, surprised, and then nods in agreement.

My mom had said that about my father. I'll do whatever it takes to stay in Wakabayashi's life, including accepting that he's in Hamburg. Does that...could that mean...

"So, it would mean a lot...to me... if you could come during your break in March," my father says.

That's why he's in here. He's trying to say that he misses me and mom. Perhaps many months ago, hearing this from him would have made me angry, afterall, he's the one making the choice to make himself lonely. But now, it just makes me feel sad. I begin to realize that being away all the time takes a toll on my father too. I wonder if Wakabayashi feels so alone, in Germany. He must.

I look at my father again. Do I see loneliness? I have to admit that I can't really tell. He's my father, but I can't read the expression on his face. Nevertheless, I thought I heard it in his voice, and in his words. So I nod.

"I'll go in March," I tell him.

He seems satisfied, and gets up to go. As he reaches the door, he turns to me again.

"One last thing. I'm sure Genzo has already told you about what's happening with him in Germany. He's always been strong, physically and mentally. So I'm not overly concerned, but, he is having difficulties facing the German soccer players right now. I don't know how much he's said to you, but he's probably feeling pretty depressed. I am helping him with his training, but maybe I can't appeal to his emotions, the way a good friend can. I'll be going back to Hamburg in a few days. I could deliver something faster than international post..."

I know what he's asking me to do, and I'm more than willing to do it.

"Ok. I'll write something. Good night," I say to him.

When he leaves, I turn back to my desk and continue my letter writing.

" _I've told you before that I was proud of you. Like when you won the Nationals._

 _I want you to understand that I'm_ _not_ _proud of you for being Japan's best youth goalkeeper. That in itself is nothing. I'm proud of you because of your strength. I'm proud of you because you're a fighter who never gives up. You have loads of talent, but that doesn't stop you from working harder, and smarter, than everyone else. Maybe things aren't as you expected, but this isn't the first time that has happened, nor will it be the last. I've always been amazed at your ability to figure out what needs to be done, and then actually do it, no matter how daunting the task._

 _You look for challenges, conquer them, and come out stronger. That's you, Wakabayashi-kun...and Germany can't change who you are."_


	38. Chapter 38 - Time Won't Change Us (END)

***** Chapter 38- Time Won't Change Us (END)*****

It's been two weeks since my father went back to Germany with my letter to Wakabayashi. This is one of the downfalls of letter writing. Conversations happen so slowly...

I open his latest letter to me. His envelopes are as puffy as mine, with all the pages of his life in Germany enclosed. In the darkness of my room, with only my desk lamp, I read slowly and carefully, taking in all his details, and trying to picture myself there.

" _...your letters are no substitute for you, Rai. But I've known that this would be the case. What I didn't know is that even though you aren't physically here next to me, I can still hear your voice as clearly as if you were. I can hear your words, even though they're on paper. They mean so much to me._

 _I won't disappoint you. I know what I have to do. I need to deconstruct the way I play. Start again. I don't know how far I'll get this year in training, but I'll survive. I will come out stronger than before._

 _You're right. Germany can't change who I am._

 _Just like time won't change who you are, Rai. And I'm counting on that..."_

As I read through his stack of papers, I find a sketch included as the final page. I can't help but gasp in astonishment as I recognize the girl sitting on the floor drawing in her sketchbook. It's me. I'm drawing Wakabayashi in his armchair, while sitting on the floor of his bedroom. It's me, down to my hair, the way I sat, the clothes I wore... Of all the times he's looked through my sketches, not once did he say he could draw too.

And after all this time, he is still able to draw me...from his memory! I read the caption under his drawing,

" _I remember you. Always._ "

 **THE END**

 **Author's Note:**

I hope you're ok with the ending. I know it doesn't bring Rai and Genzo together, but sometimes, that's life. I tried to make it bittersweet (as opposed to just bitter). Besides, things can change for them with time...

Anyway, the main issue I couldn't get over is the timeline in which the story happens. They are supposed to be young...13? 14? That's too young to be talking about any romantic relationships (says the mother in me). Already, the characters are too mature for their age!


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